After writing in yesterday’s diary that a higher rate of divorces leads to less marriages, I knew exactly what would be the next question that I would like to write about: is it actually necessary to marry at all? Can’t you just live together in a relationship and thus avoid the whole topic of a divorce, the fear of it and also the hesitation of this commitment?
This was just the logical way of thought after contemplating about the fear that young people have of getting married – and then divorced. Long-term relationships that don’t have the official name ‘marriage’ are getting more and more common. There are more and more children born to parents who love each other, live together but who are not husband and wife. They stay together for many years – you cannot say forever now because this trend is still too young. I do believe however that many of them won’t break up. They have founded their family without the certificate of marriage.
Why actually not? Marriage is anyway a system that is based on religion. There were rituals in churches and temples before there were any marriages in front of registrars. Religious people nowadays do both – marry formally to let official places know they belong together as well as religiously to celebrate with their loved ones and members of their community and same belief. Non-believers leave away the religious part and only go to the registrar. And people who believe they can do without, don’t even do that. I say there is nothing wrong in that.
Of course for some of them it is the fear of commitment that keeps them from doing this step. This is in my eyes not a valid reason but a problem of your emotions. In reality, marrying in front of a registrar should be nothing else than signing a paper. Your emotions for each other should be the same before and after that signature. It does not really change you or your partner and that is why I believe you can live together with the one you love without marrying, too.
There is however still a reason why people feel to actually do the official registration of their partnership and call it a marriage: it makes official work easier and in many countries gives you tax benefits! In the case of my wife and me it was the paper work that was much simpler once we had married in Germany – in this way Ramona could live in India and not come and go as a tourist. But it did not change our love for each other. We knew before that we would stay together forever – not because of a paper document that we can now show anybody who wants to know it.
So if you have a partner and you are living together in love but don’t want to marry, what is your reason? Is it fear of commitment? Then ask yourself if you are really not committed to the other one if you have been together for so long! Is it just a reluctance to do what everyone does and to go the path everyone went before? Leave it, it is fine without, too!
Whatever it is, make sure the feeling you have for your partner is just pure love. Then a paper or a ritual is not important.
Related posts
कृपया ग्लानि न करें यदि किसी की कल्पना करके आपका खड़ा अथवा गीली हो जाए
Bitte haben Sie kein schlechtes Gewissen, wenn Sie eine Erektion bekommen oder nass werden, weil Sie sich jemanden vorstellen
Please don’t feel guilty if you get erection or wet by imagining someone
Meine Beziehung zu meinem Vater
My relationship with my father
पिता के साथ मेरा सम्बन्ध
Neues Kapitel im Leben, Herausforderungen und Lektionen
New chapter in life, challenges and lessons
