Yesterday I wrote about the end of relationships and how it can get quite nasty. I especially mentioned divorces and the fights that people have in front of courts. Unfortunately this is not anymore a rare case. In many western countries, divorce rates are as high as 40% to 50%! This means nearly every second couple that starts its marriage in front of the registrar ends it some years later in front of a divorce lawyer. I had a thought when reading those numbers and I want to follow this thought in today’s blog post: What are the consequences?
The obvious result is that young people think twice before they get married. They see all around how marriages are breaking apart and they don’t want to experience this themselves! They see how the people around them get unhappy, stressed and into trouble because of getting divorced. Money is being spent on lawyers and courts and sometimes it takes years until matters are finally solved – and maybe not to both parties’ satisfaction. They understand that marrying means trouble if you get divorced – and the likelihood of getting divorced is pretty high! So why marry?
That is how less and less couples actually chose to get married. Obviously the reduced amount of religious influence, which I welcome very much, also helps. It was unthinkable in earlier times for a young couple to live together and have children without being married. Nowadays that is not uncommon anymore and people are not afraid of going to hell. Afraid of divorce, yes, but not afraid of hell.
Of course there are also many children who have experienced their parents going through a divorce. They have a first-hand experience of what it means and how much is involved, not only financially and officially but also emotionally. If their parents’ divorce traumatized them, they may well have difficulties not only marrying but getting into a serious relationship themselves – after all they are always afraid of really opening their hearts and letting someone in, in case he could hurt them.
I believe it is this, the fear of seeing the one whom you love turn to your enemy, which makes people afraid of divorce, afraid of getting married and unfortunately in the consequence afraid of making a commitment for a relationship themselves. They stop believing that there is something like a happy end. Everywhere around them they see break-ups and divorces. How could they believe in love themselves?
This is the consequence which I believe is very sad and actually harmful to society. People stop trusting each other and have too many doubts on their partners.
Don’t let this happen to you. See that there are not only 40 to 50% of divorces but also 50 to 60% of success stories. There are people who are happily married and even more who are happily in a long-term relationship, committed, not married but very much in love. It is possible and it can happen in your life, too!