It has been a week of writing about different issues and how to deal with them. I started with financial issues, wrote about problems in relationships to other people and, yesterday, how you can deal with life-threatening diseases or life-changing handicaps. While these all were surely important problems that people may need some help to deal with, there is another type of issue which I often see and which people always have problems to cope with: ego problems within a relationship.
I can nearly hear some of my readers sigh already at just the mentioning of the issues I will write about now. Almost everyone who has ever been in a longer relationship will know what I am talking about. These problems are the worst and the most important ones because a relationship is always about being together, being two instead of one. Egoism is about being yourself and putting yourself in front of all others – something which can create problems when two humans are spending lots of time together!
You can see on a lot of examples if that is an issue in your relationship. One example is if your partner did a small mistake, you corrected it or told him or her that he hurt you by that and he or she makes a huge issue out of this fact. For the other person’s ego, it is impossible to accept the mistake and so you carry out a huge discussion and argument for really nothing at all – or only for the ego. Or you notice yourself how difficult it is for you to apologize even though you see you were wrong in some way. Your ego stands in your way.
It’s not only a matter of apologizing! If you have an idea to redecorate your room or you are making holiday plans together for example and you already had an idea for what to do but it doesn’t fit at all with the idea of your partner, you will only find a solution if at least one of you doesn’t insist on satisfying his or her ego! It will be most beautiful however if you find a way in the middle, a holiday destination that you both enjoy or a room decoration that both of you think looks good!
You already see where this is going: in a partnership, you have to find the common path. I believe one should dissolve his ego completely in one’s love! There is no sense in insisting on being right and there is beauty in enjoying the joy of the other – even if you yourself would have opted for something different! This is what you will find in successful relationships: two persons who communicate, know each other’s preferences and act in a way that gives both freedom and joy.
Again, it is not easy – but if you are in love, I think you can manage!