While I wrote last week that one should not just break up with his partner over the smallest problem but rather try to work through it and accept some things and start loving them instead of getting upset, there are people who take this acceptance too far. People who are unhappy in their relationship but in the end just accept that they are never going to be happy. I think this, too, is wrong.
I mentioned that I saw a frequent change of partners mostly in the west where people go dating and hope to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Today’s phenomenon can be seen a lot in India, where after getting their marriage arranged, a couple just feels it has no other way than to spend the rest of their lives with their arranged spouse, no matter what! But I have seen this in the west as well, especially with the older generation who are also still holding on to outdated values, believing it is more important to keep up the illusion of a working relationship than being happy!
This illusion, this drama and show is something that I experience as very hypocrite. You pay such a big price, your happiness, just for the sake of tradition, for society and the people around you! You accept that you are unhappy in your life, blame your spouse for it and then enjoy having a big fight whenever you are at home. When outside, your smile and laugh is fake.
Especially in a culture like India, where divorce is not accepted, people hesitate to take this step. Ramona and I often share a joke saying ‘Now you have a child with me, you cannot go anywhere!’ But it is a bitter truth, especially after having a child, wife and husband stay together, no matter how unhappy they are with each other.
As I mentioned last week however, it is not at all good for your children! What do they learn? In front of others, you have a fake smile, when you are only with family, you shout at each other and fight! Your children learn that you should not be truthful, that you have to suffer your whole life long once you are married.
You cannot fool the people who are close to you! They see that you are unhappy. Your children see the fights, your parents hear them or of them, your siblings watch you change and get less and less open. They all are unhappy but who can help you? Nobody because you are determined to stay unhappy!
Come on, move, get out of your non-working relationship, look for your real happiness and finally be happy! Your children will get the right message: if you want to live an honest and happy life, do effort and make a change in your life! Live in truth with yourself without seeing what society has to say about it! Do something in order to be happy!
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