What to do if you are married and think of cheating your Partner?

What to do if you are married and think of cheating your Partner? – 13 Oct 14

Post author:Balendu
Post published:13/10/2014
Post category:Relationships
Post comments:0 Comments

I was recently contacted by a woman with a very private, personal question: she was married and, as she assured me, happily so. Nevertheless, when she had recently met a man and got to know him better, she actually considered cheating on her husband. She had not, until that point, but was asking me what to do. I would like to look into this situation in today’s blog.

First of all, I am against cheating at all times. Don’t do it. You have realized the feeling, now get a grip on yourself and don’t take this step which won’t only hurt your partner but also your relationship and trustworthiness!

Next, I have heard many people say ‘I love my partner’ and ‘Our relation is wonderful, we don’t have any issues!’ but then in the next sentence they say that they have cheated, that they feel attracted to others or even fell in love with another man or woman. The explanations that they give, although they feel guilty, are something like ‘Love has mysterious ways’ and ‘You cannot explain or describe how and why, it just happens!’ I don’t believe in any of these explanations.

I just don’t believe that you can be in the perfect relationship with your soulmate, your one and only, your forever life-partner – and then feel attracted to another person, even so far that you would and could have sex with that person! No, I know that this means something different: something in your partnership or marriage is incomplete! You are missing something and are looking for compensation from outside!

The first step to deal with those unwanted feelings is to accept this as a fact: you and your partner have an issue. You have to find out the reason exactly why you have those thoughts and feelings.

There are always two possibilities: it is either something that has started recently or a problem that was already present at the beginning of your relationship.

It may be that your partner’s behavior changed over the past few months and you are missing the person that you married or with whom you got together. Or something happened to you or in between both of you that changed you or your view on your partner. You have developed a new need that is not fulfilled.

Or, and that is a more complicated reason, your partner has always been the way he was and you just never accepted a certain characteristic or attitude. You had a doubt in your mind and heart, maybe thought you could change the other one through your love, and carried this relation on with half of your heart.

Once you found the reason for your feelings, you need to find out whether it is curable or not. If you believe it is, talk with your partner. Bring it all out, tell how the problem makes you feel and also explain that you even feel attracted to other people due to it. Don’t threaten or try to pressurize the other one – explain and stay calm!

If however you believe it is incurable and maybe have even made futile attempts for a change, don’t simply cheat, taking the easy way out. No, talk and explain nevertheless. Finish your relationship and get clean and free before you start another one!

Whatever way is right for you, I believe cheating is something that you shouldn’t do to you or others. I hope you will work it out and find a relationship full of love!