Give your Relationship Time to develop

I yesterday asked why people stayed in their relationships although they were not really happy and satisfied. The answer for most cases was the fear of not finding another partner. There is another aspect for this however: when people are afraid that they still have not find the right one and change their partners so frequently that they don’t even give themselves a chance to settle and be happy.

This is a phenomenon which I have seen a lot in the west – obviously, as there, people find their partner themselves as opposed to the amount of arranged marriages that happen in India! People search for ‘the one and only’ but unfortunately that person does not have a sign saying ‘The One’! There is no indication which can make you sure that you have the right one and this insecurity is exactly the problem: people break up again and again, thinking that they can find even someone better than that! With this pattern, they have relationships on and off for decades and unfortunately never really find happiness.

You need to give love some time. I am convinced that you can have love at first sight but it takes more for a relationship. Trust and knowing each other can only happen if you spend time with each other and go through a few different situations with each other. Then you know how the other one acts and reacts, how you can work through things together and what the other person’s qualities and weak points are.

Instead of taking the necessary time for this however, people just run away at the first difficult point. If your boyfriend has some annoying habits, don’t just freak out and leave him over it – talk about it, see what he is maybe not aware of and what he could change and what, on the other hand, you could get used to and accept. If your girlfriend constantly tries to correct you and tell you what to do, don’t just run away and skip spending time with her. Instead, let her know that you are fully able to do things on your own and that you would prefer her not correcting you all the time.

Maybe it is the fear of wasting time with the wrong one, maybe the fear of getting hurt if you put too much feeling into that relationship and then it doesn’t work out. Whatever the reason, you have to stop this fear and at least give your relationship a chance. Try to make it happen if you see any chance.

There are also people who try for a bit too long – but that is another aspect that I would like to write about next week.

For today, I just wanted to look at this angle: go deeper, don’t run away at the first problem but work through it together – and the more such situations you have overcome, the better you know each other, the stronger your love can be and the surer you can be about being with the other one for long!