On our journey to Gran Canaria, Ramona and I had some time to talk. Of course a lot of our topics turned around Apra or our upcoming programs but then we also talked about how happy we were in our relationship. Next we wondered about people who stay in their relationship while being completely unhappy.
Well, maybe not completely unhappy. There are normally always at least some aspects which are not too bad at all and in the end they are the reasons for people to stay in a relationship that does not make them fully happy. With a partner whom they often don’t really love. In a situation with which they have at least some complaints. But they stay as though they are bound by a contract. For many this contract-like relationship may simply also just be the easiest possibility at that moment.
Some people stay because they have children and they believe it is better for the kids if mum and dad are both at home and available. It is not always the best, I believe, especially when there is a lot of tension between the parents. Why would it be good for the kids to see their mother and father fight continuously?
Other couples don’t actually have that tension. They seem to have accepted that the other one is not really ‘the one’ for them and they thus live together like roommates. Sharing a house but not the bed. Children but not love. The children have both parents and it functions more or less but is that really the best for kids? What kind of idea do the children get of a relationship of man and woman?
And for each spouse there is the question: how many years will you spend being unhappy in order to provide the illusion of a working family for your children? Trying to show something to the outside that you don’t really feel inside? Why?
There is a big ‘why’ as well for all those who don’t even have kids and thus are not responsible for the lives of some young beings that need guidance and depend on them. Why are you wasting your time? Months, often years of just being together without love, doubting and knowing at the same time that it is not right. It is fear. You are afraid of the change, afraid that you won’t find another partner, that you reject and give up on someone because you only get 70% happiness and then find out that this was all you will ever get. That there is no 100% happiness out there at all.
Let me tell you one thing: you only have one life. Even if you believe in reincarnation, don’t waste this one! You are living now, use your time! Why can’t you dare taking the step and venture out to find happiness?
Or be happy with what you have? Because happiness does not actually come from outside but from within you!
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