In the past week, I have written about western women who chat with Indian men online, have provided some thoughts for exactly these men who are not always serious and finally also wrote an entry for those couples who are actually really getting serious and get together for the first time. I would like to write more in detail about the problems that can come up and which can be greatly alleviated by talking or knowing about them before.
The very first thing I believe you should consider is the way how you want your relationship to be. You have to talk about this because your way of thinking will, with very high probability, greatly differ from each other! You have grown up in so different cultures that it is impossible that in the same situation, you think in the same direction. The examples that you had in your life were just too different from each other!
You will have completely different expectations on your partner as well. It is logical: Your behavior in your own relationship is deeply rooted in the impressions you got from your own parents. Indian men behave with their wives in a very different way than western men do! And that’s how a western woman will not only behave differently than an Indian woman would towards her husband, she also expects a different treatment by her husband, boyfriend or partner!
That’s how, when you meet and decide to get serious and try to make it work, you need to prepare yourself. What is it that you are looking for in a partnership? What do you expect from the other one and what are you ready to give? What do you absolutely need and what doesn’t work at all? What have you heard of the other person’s culture that makes you insecure, which you are not sure whether you could cope with?
Living with a partner of another culture is very different and can be difficult at times. As a man, you sometimes think you are right while she actually thinks that whatever you did was just outright stupid – and vice versa. Together, you have to find out where those things come from, where the root of them is in your culture or upbringing – and then decide whether it is valid in your current situation! Depending on where you are and of course who the two of you are, it may be that he is right but it may as well be that she is right – and it could change once you travel to the other country!
When you are talking online, things often seem quite easy. Living together is a completely different matter, even if you are not from different cultures. As I did not get to write much in detail today, I will start with that tomorrow, most probably again addressing the western ladies first. So wait for tomorrow for a few thoughts on what you should think about, talk about or prepare for!
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