The Source of Cheating in a Relationship – missing Love? – 5 Aug 16

Relationships

Today I will write about an issue which seems at first crystal clear but which has created problems and issues for people around the world for centuries: infidelity in a relationship. When one partner cheats on the other. Or even both on each other. I believe it can only happen if love is missing. Or at least a certain kind of love!

As I said, it seems very clear: cheating is bad and wrong. You should not do that, you are in a relationship, you have made an unspoken vow to keep the other one happy and also not to sleep with anybody else! So no, you don’t go and sleep with others and hurt the one you love.

But why does it happen nevertheless? Why would someone go and search closeness to a completely different person instead? I believe that means love is missing. You would not get to the point to do this to the one you love!

What about those who agree on polygamy within their relationship? They know and verbally agree that the other one can go and have sex with someone else. They date others, they sleep with others and still keep a relationship.

I have said many times that in my opinion, this kind of relationship can never work longtime. Now I say even more: I think in this kind of open and polygamous relationship there can never be that kind of love, that passion and intimacy which is in a one-on-one relationship with just one partner, in between two lovers! Many times the idea to have an open relationship comes exactly from this point: you are feeling an earning for more, there is not enough of that love and passion but you don’t want to lose that anchor. You want to have the security while finding the thrill of sex in other places.

Now don’t get me wrong: when I say love is missing in both cases, it doesn’t mean that there is no love at all. No, there probably is – but I think it may be more like a love of siblings, a love for the security that the other one gives you just by always being there, a love for the feeling that there is someone when you don’t find anybody else.

However you cannot have the feelings you have among two partners if you have sex with four others, too! You just cannot give all sex partners the feeling to be special, to be the only one who gets that deep, that far and that close to you!

Still, in all cases, I believe cheating is wrong. If you feel like something is missing, please either end your relationship or tell your partner about it in order to plan for an open relationship. If this is what makes you happy, it is great. Just don’t cheat on your partner and make him unhappy! Make your life more enjoyable, that is definitely important, but not by making another person sad and breaking his or her trust!

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