Day before yesterday I described how it may happen that your friends or family members have a completely different opinion than you do. Yesterday I wrote that you may just need to accept that, even if it means that your friendship cannot go as deep as you would like it to be. When you change, people may not change or change in another way. The worst case however is if your life partner is one of these people. What can you do if that person with whom you really want to spend the rest of your life doesn’t change the way that you do?
I unfortunately know many friends who are in this situation, whose thoughts have changed over time but whose life partners did not develop in that direction. Then you have this person by your side to whom you vowed that you will be together until the end of your lives, whom you really wish to love more than anybody in this world, whom you want to devote your everything to – but your thoughts and emotions don’t match!
You both have the intention to love each other, but there are just so many topics that you cannot really talk about because you know that the other one won’t like your ideas, would criticize your actions and not support your emotions. You don’t feel like sharing and feel how you are drifting apart with every day that passes.
Obviously, you cannot make a system just like with your friends, to call once a week or meet once a month. You are very close to each other physically and you want to be, too, but then there is the question what to do with each other? The connection of your hearts got disturbed, you cannot have long or deep conversations and only talking about weather and politics just won’t do in a relationship!
You can imagine all the problems that follow. Disagreements, fights, silence, no wish for sexual intimacy, maybe after a long time even the desire to have sex with someone else, anger, frustration and unfortunately for many people at the end a separation, if they don’t manage to find a way of closeness together.
If you are in that situation, I just can ask you to talk and talk and talk to your partner, open your heart and pour out all that you feel and why you feel it. I hope that the one that you love and who loves you will be able to understand you. Even if he or she doesn’t completely feel the same, maybe it is at least possible to accept and know your feelings and motivation for what you are doing. Be open and never hide.
You, too, need to do effort to understand why the other one is unable or unwilling to follow you on your way. You, too, need to respect another view and you have to give support to your love, even if that means finding a way in the middle. Find something that you both care about and emphasize those areas of life where you both think in the same direction. Create passion together – and you will find passion for each other again.
We all are different but when we love someone from the depth of our hearts, we need a small point of similarity and be it just that we all are human!
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