Once a woman came to me who had a psychological problem: always when she is driving the car she has the feeling that she wants to turn the steering into the traffic coming from front. There is an impulse which makes her feel this while her mind immediately says ‘No! Don’t!’. So she never does it but she is afraid that someday she would actually do it. When I asked her she also told that there is not any reason to have this thought, she has a wonderful family, a good job and not at any other time any suicidal thought. I said that this thought was just stuck in her mind. It came at some point and then didn’t leave anymore. She said that she was suppressing it but her fear was that at some point her mid would not be strong enough to do that anymore, that it would just say ‘Okay, why not, let’s do it!’. I don’t believe that it would come that far. Suppressing is not a good thing for anything. You need to let the thought come and then make your willpower strong to say ‘Why am I thinking this?’
She couldn’t remember since when she was thinking this and why but I told her to let the thought leave. I was confident that she would not do it ever because it takes more negative support, that something else is wrong. She also thought of that and when I added that the last option is always to stop driving car, she agreed because she doesn’t have the idea to jump in front of a train or down from big heights. She felt very good and was happy and confident that she would manage.
We had a beautiful first day in New York and our friends Su and Jeremy as well as dear Violetta could come for dinner to our friend Asheem’s flat where we are staying.
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I used to have that thought while driving the car. But also when walking very close to traffic. I think that my mind was very curious about the power of quick moving vehicles and very aware of how fragile the body is. It is interesting that another person has had the same impulse.
Oh, the mind can be so silly sometimes! I also understand these random impulses, and they stem from fear– not an actual desire to do it. Our minds are curious and like to imagine wild and crazy things. But just because our mind thinks something doesn’t mean we have to believe it or even allow it. Realizing that we can control our minds is a huge breakthrough! Our minds fear something like this happening and it becomes a powerful thought that can take you over every time you enter that scenario…but don’t let it! Just say, “Shhhhhh mind… that’s not real. I’m safe and full of love.” And start thinking about better things! You are not your mind… don’t let it control you.