In the last week I wrote about aggressive reactions of people who feel guilty and about those who feel offended by any criticism of their country or culture. I think your reaction is always a matter of how you take things.
Obviously, those who feel bad when someone mentions something negative, take this very personally. In a normal conversation the other person does not usually mean any personal offense. Let me give you an example to make this clearer. You have a conversation about elderly people in the west. The other person says ‘It is horrible that we put our old generation into the care of other people in a home for the elderly! We miss every connection with them and cannot benefit from their experience!’ You may remember that your mother is in a nursing home or a home for the elderly and you get offended by this statement. You reply sharply and feel as if the other one attacked you. The other person did not even know about your mother however and spoke generally! You took it personally and that’s why you feel bad. You could have reacted in a fully different way if you had taken this statement just as it was, an opinion without a personal reference to you.
There are many different situations in which you take something personal when it is actually not about you. Before you let this kind of situation happen, think one time whether the other one really referred to you! Otherwise it is very embarrassing if you start talking angrily and the other one does not even know why – after all he did not talk about you!
Even if it is about you however, you don’t have to be upset about everything another person says. The important thing is that you have to be aware of what you are doing. Take responsibility for what you do and know it. If you do things with awareness, you know why you are doing them and you do them with honesty. If anybody then comes to you and criticizes anything, you can give a reply and explanation.
Should there be any mistake on your personal side, you have another chance to show real strength of character: accept it. Don’t try to be perfect, nobody is. And then there comes another important part: if you can, laugh about yourself. If you can do that, it is the very best.
Related posts
Don’t base your Self-Esteem on your Habit of controlling others! – 16 Sep 16
The Chemistry of Advice and personal Experience – 1 Aug 16
Why you should not try to be perfect – 24 Feb 16
When Women accept their Husbands’ extramarital Affairs – 7 Dec 15
What to do when things are not according to your ideals – 24 Nov 15
What to do if insecure People want to put you down – 18 Nov 15
How to deal with the Knowledge that you won’t be alive much longer – 28 Oct 15
Dealing with Difficulties – afraid or ready to take them on? – 26 Oct 15
I think it was in your blog where I read that this is especially a problem of people who want to be perfect: you do something and then you wait carefully for criticism. If someone even dares to open their mouth, you are immediately offended – you take it personal even if the other one was actually not referring to you!