Yesterday I spoke about a certain reaction of people when they feel you criticized something that they themselves did. Usually, when the reaction is strong, that is something that they feel guilty about. But I also mentioned people reacting with aggression or feeling very offended when I write about their country or culture.
I actually write about anything that I notice, whether that happens in India, in the West or even in countries that I have never been in. I wrote about the situation of women in Muslim countries that I had read about in the newspapers and online for example. Of course I wrote much more about India and western countries, simply because I have lived in those countries and have a better understanding of the culture and living situations there. It is only after having spent a longer time in a country that you can see the deeper issues, the qualities but also the problems that exist in a culture.
It is a fact that there are problems, negative points and difficult issues in each and every country and culture. There is no place where people live together and everything is just perfect for everyone. So although I do write about the positive aspects that I notice when living in a place, I obviously also mention the drawbacks. When people then feel offended, it actually makes me wonder.
If someone tells about grievances in India, for example about pollution of the environment, the caste system issues or corruption, I accept that this is happening in our country. It is the truth, so why would I get angry about someone mentioning it? Of course I might get sad about this state of India but I would accept that someone says it. If I feel the other person misses a certain positive aspect, I may point that out but I will not get angry!
In the same way nobody should feel offended if they read something negative about their country or culture in my diary. I do not write about you personally, I write about a general situation. If you honestly disagree, just let me know in a comment, I will be happy to read about your view. But there is no reason to feel attacked, react in a defensive tone or even be aggressive!
Whenever I read or hear such a reaction, I need to wonder how much that person actually identifies with their country and culture. I never say that everything of a culture is bad but you cannot say that everything is good, either! Open your eyes and see the reality! It is not wise to keep on seeing everything through pink glasses and pretend that it is perfect! If your culture and society promotes something wrong, accept it and if you have any possibility to work towards a change, do it!
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I have had similar conversations and problems in nearly every country that I visited for a longer time. Whenever I mentioned a negative aspect – be it very little – my hosts had a big problem! I did not mean to be offensive but I had my eyes open and saw what was going on around me! With time I learned to only talk to real friends about such impressions because they could pack away their cultural ego and just agree about the bad things that I saw in their country – a place i loved and had chosen to live in at least for a while!
Perhaps people who take criticism of their country personally do not really understand the culture of their own country, let alone that of other countries and the reasons behind it. Many people are too busy to ask why things happen and if there is anything they can do about it, they just follow the crowd. When people are visiting another country on holiday perhaps they have more time to be critical and judgmental about the country they are in and also to respond in a negative way to criticism of their own country.