I am an open person and I generally express my opinion and my views freely, be that in a discussion or also when I write my diary. I tell what I see in my surroundings and I clearly say it when I approve or disapprove of something. This means that you can often hear me express appreciation but you also notice when I believe something is not right.
This actually happens with many topics, be that religion, superstition and all the fake magic which is created around it, be that questions of relationships and love, be that differences in culture or also general behavior like smoking, vegetarianism or awareness of nature and environment. And very often when I express something that is in any way negative, someone reacts very strongly. That reaction can either be an attack and aggressiveness towards me or people feel mortally offended and stop every interaction. I feel strange with both reactions, even if I can understand why people react like this.
It is very logical if seen from a psychological point of view. We have a saying in Hindi: ‘Chor ki Dadhi mein Tinka’. Literally translated this means ‘a speck in the beard of a thief’. It is a sentence of a story and you can best understand what it means with this small example: you sit in a room with ten men and all have beards. You know one of them is a thief but not which one. You only need to say ‘There is a speck in the beard of the thief’ and of all ten men, the thief will grab his beard to see where it is.
So whenever you speak about an issue and criticize something that is morally wrong or when you point out a mistake that people commonly make, it is just natural that someone, who did exactly that, would react strongly. It is a sign that he or she knows what you are talking about and has acted in the way you criticize. Sometimes the other one really freaks out about the fact that you dare say that!
This actually mostly happens with topics that the other person feels guilty about. If they did not feel guilty, they could just agree with you and your viewpoint or calmly reply and add something to the discussion. Instead they go in full and complete denial and attack you for attacking them – even though it was never your intention to attack them!
I have noticed this behavior in Indian people when I speak about India and I have noticed this with western people when I speak about the west. I have had this reaction from smokers when I talked to them about addiction and from meat-eaters when I mentioned cruel animal slaughter. Again, it is a normal psychological process and reaction.
This does not mean however that you cannot change it! This reaction and attitude is not right. When you feel that you have a strong reaction about someone’s criticism, first think about the reason why it is like that. If it is simply because that person’s opinion is true and right, accept it as it is. Don’t feel accused just because you have done the same thing that is being talked about. Accept it honestly when something is wrong. Leave your guilt behind and enter a conversation without it. Your talk with others will be much more fruitful! Maybe it can lead to you changing a bad habit or doing something for changing a bad situation. It will definitely bring awareness if you are open to think in a different way!
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If you corner an otherwise peaceful animal, it will attack. That is what I always think when I see such reactions. My sister used to shout at me whenever I mentioned her nicotine addiction – obviously I stopped mentioning it! But that is not the solution for the problem! She knows herself that she is sick, that addiction is not a good thing and that she has to stop it.
you can also see this if you are in a discussion about religion with someone that claims a deep conviction. Part of the “human psychology” is an inbuilt desire not to be wrong. If a person has committed a lot of time, effort, and especially if they have “sacrificed” a lot by following rules or principles, even if they know deep within themselves that these things make no sense they are inclined to not admit it because then they would be “wrong”, so rather than examine an alternate opinion or theory rationally – they will become aggressive and often violent.
Generally the more time/effort invested, the more aggressive the response…….