Day before yesterday I explained how you best voice your criticism if you actually want to change something. You avoid anything that could cause an argument. The good outcome depends however also on the person who is criticized. So what is the best way to take criticism?
In the first place, you need to listen calmly to what the other person has to say. Just as the other one should try expressing himself with as little emotions as possible, you should listen and try to stay calm. Too many emotions easily trigger an argument. Some people, especially perfectionists, tend to be immediately angry when they are being criticized. They always want to do everything just perfect and are under a lot of pressure which is mostly self-imposed. When someone now comes to criticize them, they are immediately in self-defense. Learn to listen to any kind of criticism calmly.
After listening and taking in the information, which was ideally just clearly to the point and presented matter-of-factly, you can take your time and consider whether it is true. You may really take your time for that, thank the other person for their opinion and consider in peace what you were just told. If you have any emotions about this criticism, this time can help you to get some distance from them and be honest with yourself. Is it true, maybe even only a little bit?
If you calmly and honestly thought about it and decided that the criticism was completely unjustified and that there was no truth in the words the other one said, you can explain the other one exactly that. Tell him why it is wrong what he thinks. Explain why you did something the way you did it. If you have thought about it, you may have even understood why the other one thought the way he did. If it was a misunderstanding or a wrong point of view, now it is up to you to explain it. You may even ask some further questions as to how the other one came up with the opinion that you had done something wrong.
The other possibility is that you notice that the other one is right. This may be hard to accept but if you came this far without getting into an argument or shouting out your emotions, you can also go on and accept a mistake or simply a better way of doing something. If you have understood the criticism and believe it to be right, thank the other one for telling you about it. And of course, make a change in future.
The main thing about accepting criticism is not to take things too personal and to see constructive criticism as something positive. We are always learning and changing for the better. If someone opens your eyes about a bad habit, an injustice from your side or a simple mistake, be happy about it! It means that in future you can take care of that and you won’t hurt or harm anybody or yourself anymore by it. Be ready to change yourself for the better!
I believe the following two lines of the great poet and writer Kabir make a beautiful summary of what I want to say:
„Nindak niyare rakhiye, Angan kuti chawai,
bin pani sabun bina, nirmal kare subhaiy“
Translated this means:
„Keep those who criticize you close to you, prepare a room for them in your courtyard,
They will clean your nature without water and without soap.”
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