Ammaji and everything that is related to her is the only thing that is on my mind these days and obviously this will reflect in my diary. As we are all talking about her here, remembering her in every moment and reliving the time we had with her, I want to let you take part in this and share more about my mother with you.
We are not exactly sure how old Ammaji was but probably around 65 or 66. She married when she was approximately 16 years old. Approximately, because it may have been 17, too, nobody is fully sure about that. Babbaji and Ammaji had been married for 49 years, so that makes 65 years. Too soon for such a special woman to leave the world.
Of course our mother was special for us, like everyone’s mother is to that son or daughter, but it is not only us, her direct family, who thinks she was special! I don’t know any single person on this earth who could say even one single bad word about her. She was just a wonderful woman who never had a problem with anyone. She did not have fights and never showed any dislike for anybody. Of course there were people with whom she did not have any interest in being friends but she did not let the other one feel it and she was not in inner trouble. She was always great with everyone!
Even with our guests, who were not able to speak her language, she had connections. When she saw anybody knit, she showed them what she was knitting. Whenever someone had interest in cooking, she loved to show them how to prepare the food we would eat in the evening.
On Ammaji’s last evening, Govind’s wife saw a woolen dress on Apra that Ammaji had knitted and said ‘Ammaji is perfect in everything!’ She just had such a big joy in making anything for others. She knitted socks and pullovers for us and especially for Apra. She had her own small part in the garden where she planted seeds for vegetables which she would then prepare with much pride in the kitchen and feed whoever was there for dinner. She was always ready to try something new in the kitchen and serve it to us, curious whether we would like it. We always loved it. Even when it was something that she had made before, too, but a long time ago she said ‘This is the first time I am cooking this dish – so I don’t know if it will be nice!’
She was the best mother anybody could have. She was always there for anybody to ask her for anything. It was her whom we went to when we were hungry in between food times and she would have some cashews or other snacks ready for us. It was her whom I told when I was hungry and she who then went to the kitchen to speed things up. She knew everyone’s taste and prepared food accordingly. She solved problems among our staff and could talk to anybody in a way that created peace. She had a natural authority that children followed by instinct. She loved with her full, big heart.
The main thing for us is that she was happy in her life. She had had a fulfilling life and we took care never to cause her any pain. The only sadness which we know she had to bear was the loss of her daughter in 2006. This accident took away the shine in her eyes and I found it difficult to look at her eyes, seeing her grief even after years. With the birth of her granddaughter Apra however, that shine returned and the past eleven months I saw her laugh with a joy that I had not seen the years before.
She died after having fed us and preparing everything for the next day. She was a wonderful wife, the best mother and just a great woman!
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