I yesterday told you about Apra’s visit to the hospital where a new mother managed with one sentence to tease her so much that she forgot all the amazement and love she had for the newborn baby. Such teasing is nothing uncommon, which is why I already before wrote about it. But I really wonder again and again whether people just cannot see children’s feelings or just don’t care about them.
We have experienced this with Apra uncountable times. When we visit a friend’s home and are even only there for one hour, I can tell you with 100% probability that one of the present people will at least once tell my daughter ‘So you will stay here with us, okay? Let the others go home!’
Congratulations! During a one-hour visit to your home you managed to make such an impression on my child that she doesn’t want to visit you anymore in future. Yes, she has told me this, right after exiting your door. Let’s go home. I don’t want to visit them.
I know, you don’t really mean to keep her but she doesn’t know this! I know you don’t want to create this feeling but don’t you see that you do? I know it is a common habit but don’t you think it is a bad one?
Parents do this a lot to their own children, too. I have to say I really feel sorry for these kids when they are here for a visit, are ready to go home and their mother or father says ‘I will go home now and leave you here!’ Wait, no, I don’t only feel sorry for them, I really don’t want you to do this to me either! Your child won’t want to be with me or stay in my home if you use such threats!
What do you want to show your child? Obviously the opposite of what I would like to teach mine! I want my baby to know at all times that I will be there for her, no matter what happens. I will be there for her in places where she doesn’t feel comfortable. I will be her haven, my lap her safe place and my arms her hideaway if she needs it. She should never have the feeling that I would not be there for her. After she has done something wrong and I have scolded her, we hug. I show her that even after I got angry with her and told her that she should not do such things again, I love her and am here for her.
You will never hear me tease my child, while she is playing and in a good mood, telling her that I would leave her. I don’t want to see her scared. I don’t want her to cry and beg. I want my baby to be happy.
What about you?
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