In the lecture about ‘Sex and Freedom’ that I had on Gran Canaria and which I already told you about, a woman asked me when and how, in my opinion, one should inform children about sex. At what age should one start talking about it and in which way? I believe a lot of people with children can have this question and especially considering that the topic of sex has been made a taboo for so long, I think one should definitely start thinking about this.
And in the end, my answer to this is quite simple: keep it natural. When it comes to sex, everyone gets so ashamed, children know immediately that there is something wrong with it. But there is not! If you want to tell your child that sex is something natural – which it is – be natural about it!
Those feelings related to your genitals, the other gender, your sexuality and the consciousness of it are always there. Of course they develop with time and you wouldn’t talk the same way with a four-year-old as you would with a fifteen-year-old. You would not tell the toddler about condoms and intercourse – but there may very well come the question of a girl why boys and men have a penis. Obviously little children notice that their daddy looks different than their mommy. So instead of saying ‘Don’t look at that’ or even ‘It is a dirty place, don’t look there!’, you could tell them that this is how men look while women look differently. That’s it – and you have not started making a taboo out of the genitals!
When the child gets older, different questions and feelings will develop. Just talk accordingly with them about this topic, staying natural and open. Don’t, in any case, tell your child that it is wrong to ask about their and other people’s genitals, love, attraction or sex! It is natural that curiosity grows and you have the chance to make your child perceive sex as something natural!
Coming back to the topic of celibacy – how can you still say that this suppression is a good idea when you see sexuality in children? It is there, without anybody telling them about it – so it must be natural and you should treat it as such! Suppressing it goes against your natural instincts but that is what you do with children at an early age if you tell them that sex is something bad. It is the base for creating mental problems, relationship problems and problems in the future love life of your children!
So please, please, please: be natural when it comes to talking about sex with your child!
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