In the past days I told you about my conversations with Apra, about love, about how she got into her mother’s belly and about children coming from love. While I am very happy about the response I have got, I still notice how many people there are who really don’t appreciate me talking like this to my own daughter – and then sharing that in public!
To be honest, I didn’t expect the response onto my diary entries to be as good as it was. Not only my western friends liked it – about whom I was sure they wouldn’t find anything strange about me talking to my daughter about the creation of life. No, also Indian readers appreciated my articles and they understand how beautiful this relationship to your child can be! I have the feeling that a lot of people, also in this country, now understand how necessary it is to tell your child about these natural events in life!
Even though I got very positive feedback, I know that in this country there are a lot of people opposing not only me but in general the idea to talk with your child about anything that is, even by far, about sex. Sex is a taboo topic even with your wife, why would you talk to your children about it?
The reason why I do, and quite early, is that it is in my eyes a very important issue, a topic that you are, as a parent, responsible to address! If you do not talk about this one topic, you are suppressing it and then something is missing! I would go as far as to say that you don’t fulfill your duty of a parent if you don’t talk about sex with your children.
And, dear Indian mothers and fathers, I know your imagination also brings you a bit too far here! With sex education and ‘talking about sex’, I am not saying that you should show your children sex positions or watch porn with them! Come on, we are living in a time in which we all should know the physical and emotional aspects of sexual intercourse and it is that which your children are curious about! They don’t know what is going on in their body when they get aroused and they are worried that something could be wrong with them! Why do they have these feelings and is there something wrong with them if their bodily fluids come out? And why do they feel attracted to the other gender, what is right and what is wrong?
This is the information that your children are searching for and you leave them alone with this curiosity in their developing mind! It is natural to have such questions and if you don’t provide answers, they will go and get them from somewhere else. If you answer, you know what they know – if you don’t, it can be completely wrong information, too! By not talking about sex, you are putting them into the danger of getting completely false ideas, of worrying about their body, of harming themselves mentally and even physically!
While I of course may have a different opinion on what you tell them is right and wrong about when and with whom to have sex, in which way and with which kind of protection, you would also need to talk about that instead of just putting up a one-line rule that forbids everything sexual before marriage – you have to address what you mean with that and why instead of pretending that whatever sex is, it is just wrong before and right after. As I said, what I think about sex before marriage is a whole different matter but you have to talk to them about sex!
You are keeping them in a fake world and trying to make yourself believe that they will just find out by themselves once they are married. I tell you, some of your children will hit the bottom of reality very fast and very hard! It won’t be anything like they learned from Bollywood or from the cheap magazines, which they were hiding from you.
Who will be to blame for that?
My answer is you! That’s why I will tell my daughter, according to her age, everything I can about every topic in this world, including sex!