I yesterday described a situation in a shop in town when a woman touched Apra in the face when she did not really like this closeness to a stranger. While I yesterday explained that I would like my baby daughter to say ‘NO!’ in future when she is in such situations, I want to tell you today which practical ways to achieve this Ramona and I have thought of.
First of all, what happened further at that shop? When the saleswoman wanted to touch Apra and she retreated, my wife told Apra in German that she should just say ‘No’, if she didn’t want this woman to touch her – and of course she provided Apra the comfort and security of her arms. As the Hindi word for ‘No’ is quite similar in German, the Indian lady probably understood the meaning of those words and stopped herself.
For Apra however, this was enough for wanting to change the place. No matter how sweet the saleswoman now talked, Apra had no interest in socializing with her anymore. She climbed onto Ramona’s lap, hid her face on her mother’s shoulder and said she wanted to leave now.
Obviously, when Ramona was home, we talked what could have been the best reaction. Should she have told the lady directly and quickly that she should not touch our child? It was clear to Ramona from the first second that Apra would not enjoy this, so she could have blocked already the first attempt of a touch. This would however not give the child a chance to react herself – and chances are that in order to be quick enough, Ramona would not have stayed polite. One can get quite sharp when trying to protect one’s children…
Of course, she could have also directly addressed the saleswoman instead of Apra, after giving our daughter a moment to react. I could imagine her saying politely ‘She does not like this’. But somehow that sounds like an apology from our side for our daughter’s very natural behavior.
So what about telling Apra in Hindi: ‘If you don’t want this woman to touch you, you can just tell her not to.’?
In the end, I know which one was my favourite reaction to this problem: just stretch out your own hand and touch the saleswoman in the face, in the same way that she was touching Apra! Instead of saying anything, make the same face of being amazed by so much cuteness, gently pinch the lady’s cheek and smile.
That should also do the trick. What do you think?
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