Take your Children serious - and talk to them!

I told you yesterday how well Apra takes all the travelling, even if that means being at different places and with different people four days in a row. Of course, many factors play a role in that from her character, her living style and the fact that Ma and Pa are always with her to the big amount of entertainment that she gets at every new place because there are new toys and books, pets and child-loving friends. I believe however that something that we do is very important, too: we prepare her for the coming change each time!

This point is somehow related to the idea that you should take your children serious. It doesn’t matter what you do, don’t just drag your children – toddlers and older – along and dictate what they should do but instead tell of the plans, discuss some details which your children could decide upon and thus let them know what is going to happen. It will save you some trouble, I promise!

Whenever we are going on a journey, we tell Apra the day before where we will go, how we will reach there, whom we will meet and what we will do there. If we have pictures or even videos of those places or people ready, we show them to her. If she has seen them before, we remind her of them. That’s how she has an idea of how the coming day will look like, prepares herself for it and even starts looking forward!

It is not a big effort that we do with this preparation. It is actually not even a lot to do! All you need is some time to talk to her, that’s it. If there is a time during your games when you sit down and relax or even while eating, just tell your little one what the plans are!

I believe these steps are really important, not only in our case, while travelling, but in daily life as well! Your child needs to know that you take him or her serious! If your three-year-old daughter is playing just now and you suddenly pull her right out of that game to go for shopping or go and visit friends without previously telling her about it, it doesn’t feel right! Your daughter gets the impression that things are happening to her without her control, against her wish and that she is not as independent as toddlers want to be! All her effort is going towards doing things herself and then you come in like a hurricane, bringing disorder into her nicely set mental landscape.

I notice that this happens a lot in India, with bigger and smaller children. Adults tend to not taking children serious. They don’t deem it necessary to talk to them, include them in the decision-making process of the family or ask for their opinion. It doesn’t matter how old your child is, he or she has the wish to be important and you should realize that you do have another family member there who has a voice. And I believe it starts with toddlers!

We talk a lot with Apra about what we are going to do. Of course, she gets upset when she is too tired or hungry. Of course she sometimes tries to cross the limits we have set for her – it is natural! But she always comes along happily when we go out on a journey. And that’s how we love travelling with her, too, knowing it is fun for her!