There are people who always oppose you in whatever you say. You can even say something of which they are normally convinced, too, but just because you said it, they need to talk against it. And later, if you stick with your point, if you say why you think what you just said, they also agree. But first of all, they have to be against it. It is just their principle and their way of reacting.
I feel it has something to do with wanting attention. These people need to say something so that everybody, and if it is just for one second, looks at them and listens to what they have to say. But the thing is that if you do this too often, nobody will want to listen to that anymore. Many times I see this and always feel that it just creates negativity. Be positive about things. Think again before you say no. Or better feel again, if you really want to say no.
You know, many people often underestimate others. Don’t think the people around you are stupid. Others can feel who and what you are, even if you try being someone else. You can talk against something and everybody knows that you are actually in favour of it. And you can play another role very well but people will feel that this is not your real face. Be honest with who you are and what you feel, I cannot say it often enough.
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As the ego seeks to solidify itself through outside sources it forms its identity in opposition to or the same as, the materials or people around it. The ego does not mind how it defines itself as long as it defines itself firmly. Complaining, arguing, hating, being the same as or different from are all manifestations of this consequence. It can be very helpful to “stick to the facts” when describing a circumstance. “I have sadness in me. I feel frustration” is a fact. “This person has ruined my life. This circumstance is terrible and intolerable,” is a story. Telling yourself a story can cause you a lot of suffering. To allow yourself to blame another for a circumstance may feel “relieving.” But you may notice that when you blame another, when you are filled with a fire of hate you are never satisfied. You always want more. You feel as though you must “vent” more of your feelings in order to be relieved of them. Has this ever relieved you? Have you ever found peace in complaining or blame? Notice that when you feel anger your body becomes very stressed. There may be a tightening in your chest or appendages. This anger is not your enemy. It is in you. Say yes to it. Allow it to be there and stick to the facts. If you feel yourself creating a story about your circumstance take a minute to ask yourself “Do I wish to feel more pain?” Look around the room “Is anything wrong right now?” Most of the time everything around you will be fine. It was only your mind that made everything feel ugly.
I live with one of these people! It can be very frustrating and annoying. And she really only does it when other people are around… I suppose to stand out, seek attention, and look smart. But when we are alone together, she is much more agreeable (and even says the opposite of what should would around others). Because I live with her and see this constantly, I have been searching for a way to accept it and deal with it. Most importantly, I need to just give her unconditional love. I see that she is just seeking approval, attention, and therefore, LOVE. If I provide her with loving energy no matter what she says, she will calm down a bit, and I will feel more peace. ….Easier said than done, but it is my goal!!