As I have anyway been writing about criticism, there are a few more thoughts that I thought I can share with you. As I said, criticism is not a bad thing per se. It is actually very useful because it can help you develop yourself further and avoid mistakes in future. Constructive criticism, in which someone offers you another solution or an idea to do something better should always be appreciated. I do, I listen with an open ear when someone tells me ‘You know what, I think you could also do it like this…’. There are however instances when people criticize you and you know exactly that their criticism will not really help you any further. Why do you know this? Because they criticize things even if there is nothing to criticize.
Maybe you have heard people say something like ‘This is great but…’ and the next time ‘This is awesome but…’. The ‘but’ is usually followed by some piece of advice for a tiny, unimportant thing. It is never really anything important. They could have simply said ‘This is wonderful!’ but it seems as though they had to add some kind of criticism or advice.
I wonder why some people don’t show unconditional appreciation for something when they really like it. One reason could be that they want to prove that they are able to do corrections. This could be the consequence of an inferiority complex. They see something nice, which was done in a nice way, and want to show that they could do it even better.
There are other people who always criticize, too. They don’t even tell you that it is actually nice what you did but they just right away criticize. If you know them, you know that they are just like an opposition party to the ruling party in government. If you say black, they have to say white, if you say yes, they have to say no, no matter whether they actually agree with you or not. They cannot agree with you because they feel the need to oppose you. The reason is mostly a personal dislike of your person or one of your character traits.
The point is that you get to know about these two types of people relatively quickly. You may be disturbed the first few times that this happens but later you can already calculate their criticism into your equation and you won’t be disappointed or angry about it. Learn to ignore or accept it as it is.
If it is a friend of whom you think he has a too negative attitude and never gives you the appreciation you think you deserve, talk about it. Tell the other one about your feeling because it can become a nasty habit that the other one doesn’t even notice anymore.
If you are told or notice yourself that you have this habit, change it. Be more positive. Swallow unnecessary criticism and don’t try to be better than everyone else. Appreciate another person’s work honestly and don’t just oppose for the sake of opposing.
You will see that this will make your relations to others much easier and calmer.
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Focusing on Negativity helps staying positive? I don’t think so! – 24 Jul 14
haha true, it’s like “do u like it?” -“yea, but I would…” 🙂
Word ” unconditional” is becoming extinct, cos very few ppl who know the meaning are completely understood!