Focusing on Negativity helps staying positive? I don't think so!

I yesterday shortly mentioned a trick for being and staying more positive. You can daily write down five things that made you smile, just before you go to bed. In my lecture, someone told me she had heard the same tip but with writing down all negative things of the days. The woman asked whether I thought this might be a good idea as well.

I did not agree. There are countless ways, techniques and methods that people recommend for others to be happy and I don’t deny that many of them will work. Nevertheless I will keep on promoting positive notes, not negative ones. Let me tell you why.

The basic idea behind writing down negative experiences of the day is to look at them and then let them go. What people asked to me to help them with however was to be and remain positive. By looking at the negative experiences, you do the opposite of what you are supposed to do: you focus on the negative. You relive everything that was bad in your day, you practically search for the bad points you could write, even if you had already forgot them. Once you do that, you will also think about what you have done wrong, what you could have done differently and so on. There is a whole lot of regret, a whole lot of bad feelings once more. How would this help you let go?

On the contrary, I believe that you won’t be able to let go in this way, as you work against forgetting everything bad! Time is a healer, just because your mind protects you from bad experiences by slowly forgetting them. If you search for them however, you may find them deep within! If you are searching on the same day, you will definitely find them. Then you write them down on top of it so that you can always remember everything bad that happened in those days! Never forget the things others said to you that hurt you bad. Never forget why you were angry, upset or sad!

Do you think you will get happy with this? I don’t!

The same concept works for writing about positive things. You have to search for the good things. Remember why you were happy, why you laughed, why you felt joy and love. You will be reminded. You have a help to remind you when you are down and don’t know anymore why you should smile.

Yes, I am sure I will remain a promoter of this technique. You won’t remain positive by concentrating on everything negative – you have to look at what is good in your life!