In the last days I have written about criticism, how you can voice it and how you best take it. I also described people who always criticize others, even if there is no reason to and people who use their friendship as an excuse for constant criticism. What should you do however if you realize that you are one of these people who criticize too much?
It can happen that you realize this especially after having read the diary entries of the last days. You notice that you yourself are always the first one to say ‘But’. You realize that others are careful when they tell you about something because they are afraid of your immediate rejection. You notice their hesitation and you notice that you seek for something negative to say even if you see something that looks completely beautiful to you.
If you have realized that you are too negative and too used to criticizing others, it is already the first step to change. The next step you need to take is to vow not to criticize anybody and anything anymore. Of course criticism is not only negative, as I said before, but in order to change your habit you first need to fully come away from saying negative things. See the positive side, not the negative one.
The next time when someone shows you what they did or tells you of a new idea, don’t say the first thing that comes in your mind. Wait for a second and find something good to say about it. Praise the other one. Say something that shows your appreciation without any ‘but’. Spend a full day without criticism.
After one day, you will notice that it is already much easier not to be negative. Until now you always saw the glass as half empty and now, aware of what you are doing, you can change your glass, see it from the other side and say that it is half full. In the same items, things and questions which you previously criticized, you will suddenly see something beautiful.
This way of thinking will change your complete perception, your consciousness, nature and mind. On a day without criticism, feel inside yourself. Do you notice how calm you are on that day? It is also exhausting to permanently find something to criticize and then deal with the reactions, too.
A positive attitude from your side will also change your surroundings. If you have noticed before that people hesitate telling you about a new idea, you will now notice that they come to you because they want to hear your opinion – a positive but honest one.
Try it, see how it feels like and I can guarantee you that you won’t regret it!
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I recently started a new habit with my friends – we are 100% honest with each other about what we think and feel. It takes some courage to really say what you feel and we also agreed that before we voice anything negative we also look at why we feel negative. Through that we noticed that it is mostly our own feelings that trigger the criticism of the other one. And through that our days of honesty have actually become days without criticism of others but of self-reflection.
When has criticism ever brought love to anything? Never. So, start setting your personal boundaries, than you don’t have to criticize anyone anymore. Even though some people feel criticized by your boundaries – but that is their own stuff.
Good idea to try.