Are you having 'the worst Time of your Life'? Get yourself out of it!

I yesterday told you of an Austrian friend of mine who called me with an issue he could not discuss with any of his close friends. At a point of our talk, he mentioned that it was the darkest period of his life which he was in now. I have heard such words from several people in my life who came to me for counselling sessions and that’s how I thought I should write some words about this situation and about these feelings.

The first thing when you find yourself in such a situation is to realize it. Once you have the realization that this is one of ‘the worst times ever’, you have the possibility to calm down enough to sort things out.

This usually happens when there are unforeseen changes, when things happen that your mind didn’t have time to prepare for. It can be accidents, illnesses, natural catastrophes, deaths of loved ones, the loss of your job, a break-up or betrayal by a partner, by relatives or friends. There are other things that can add to this of course – the base is that these things bring you down, make you feel bad and don’t give your mind a chance to see something positive, usually because several of these happened in a short period, one after the other.

Whatever it is that brought you in this situation, take a look at it. See exactly what it has changed and please let out your feelings as well. Dedicate some time to the grief you need for what you have lost. It is completely normal and you have to go through these emotions. And then you come out of them.

Sounds easier said than done? Because you have the wrong attitude towards it! Usually people refuse leaving the details behind. They get stuck with small ‘What if’ questions that don’t lead them anywhere. They keep on replaying crucial moments in their minds or try desperately to get back to the point they were standing at before.

Depression starts when they realize it is not possible, that their struggle is in vain. You cannot turn back time, you cannot make things undone and you cannot change your actions of the past. You can however change your point of view on what has happened and is happening – and thus pull yourself out of negativity.

You need time to process whatever has happened. There is a point however when you have to stop thinking of the past and realize that there is a new tomorrow in front of you. Those feelings cannot and will not go on forever! There will be a better time again and that’s what we all work on every day!