Everything bad happens to me! - Negative People and their Joy of being Victims

I yesterday told you about negativity and our experiences with negative people in groups, for example at the Ashram or at workshops. I mentioned how they make others feel uncomfortable and negative as well and gave an idea for how you can deal with such problems. A friend of ours made a very comment to that: such negative people are actually not at all aware of their own negativity! They believe they are just victims of this bad world!

It is true. Their own negativity makes them blind for the fact that this is actually coming from inside themselves. Everyone knows that saying that you can either see the glass as half empty or half full. These people will always see it half empty but not even realize that it could as well be half full. They get used to this view of things and don’t realize how negative they really are.

Instead, they blame the whole world around them for being so bad to them! They fall into the role of being a victim and wonder very much how it can happen that everyone has so great lives while everything bad happens to them! Why does everyone want to attack me? Why am I not allowed to be happy like others?

They just don’t realize that they are wearing these glasses to see everything in a negative light! That’s how nobody can really help them. The only possibility to get right of their negativity is for them to change their attitude and help themselves.

Unfortunately however they often get the habit of being the victim and then enjoy getting pity. This feeling is so nice to them at some point that they don’t want to come out anymore! They go on complaining and suffering loudly in order to get more and more sympathy.

Unfortunately that doesn’t work for a long time either! Imagine having such a friend around you all the time. In the beginning you may think that he or she really has bad fate and you might pity that person. After a longer time however you will notice that they simply keep on complaining and don’t even want to try and change something! On top of that you never get the chance to say that something is going wrong in your life as well! They expect you to cry for them, not for yourself! They want your attention – for their bad luck! If they refuse to come out of their victim role, their friends soon will make distance from them and in the end, they will stand there alone.

So if you, at any point, realize that you are the one who is negative, that you are asking others for pity and that you actually enjoy being a victim, it is your call to wake up before things get worse! You value your friends, right? So start listening to them and be happy for the good things in your life! Stop pitying yourself! Stop being a victim and see that your glass, too, is half full!