Don't be negative when you talk to a sick or injured Person!

On Monday I told you that I believe in staying positive even if something bad has happened, like for example the accident that my friend Govind had last week. I actually believe completely that a positive attitude can help and that you need to be positive especially in such situations – when it is difficult for someone else not to fall into a deep hole of negativity. Unfortunately not everybody seems to agree or understand this concept. I saw living proof for this on the days that I spent with Govind in the hospital last week.

He has a lot of visitors coming to ask how he is but while it is my intention to cheer him up and pass time with him, I had to wonder about one of his relatives who did not much to support this effort. He sat down and after listening to the story of how the accident happened, he sadly shook his head with the words ‘So now you won’t ever jump or run again!’ I protested straight away, explaining that the doctor had not said anything like this, on the contrary, that he would be fully fine after surgery and some weeks of exercise and physiotherapy! Another person asked on another day, too: ‘Will you be able to walk again?’ and until yesterday one man’s opinion was ‘If the operation won't be successful, your leg may never be straight again – it can happen that it stays crooked now!’

One of his female relatives kept on crying throughout her visits until I asked her how long she wanted to keep up this drama. Really, I am very blunt when it comes to such matters because I just don’t see any reason in crying now – what has happened is done and you won’t help him if you sit there pouring out tears! The only thing that will happen is that everybody’s mood gets all serious and sad!

The big impact that even those small remarks had on my friend was clear to me when he told his colleague the next day ‘I don’t know if I will be able work ever again!’, looking full of sorrow at his swollen leg. I asked him ‘Are you crazy? Why are you even thinking this? You will be fine, everything will be fine and you will even forget that this happened to you! You will only remember when you hear about someone else breaking his leg. Then you will think, oh, yes, this happened to me, too!’

Seeing this, I was confirmed again in my decision to come every day to be with my friend. It is nice to spend more time with him than we normally can and additionally I can cheer him up and help him stay positive – and realistic. It is after all ‘only’ a broken leg, we will get through this time and he will be fine again.

This is why I have one request to all of you: Please remember the next time that you will be with an ill or injured person not to be negative. Smile, give strength, be positive and give the person hope and support. If you show your own worry – even if it is not just unnecessary talk as in this case – you will create additional problems for the one who already has to face the pain!

If you stay positive however, you will be able to say, like I was yesterday: ‘See, all is fine!’ Govind had his operation yesterday and everything went well. Now it will just need some time for the leg to get better and then he will be able to practice walking again.