I have been writing about control freaks and their problems as well as the difficulties they can have when trying to leave those habits. There is one more aspect to that which I would like to look at more in detail and which obviously gives such people trouble as well: they have the habit of seeking negative point in everything!
This may seem like a rather unimportant issue, a minor character flaw which you can overlook easily. Of course you can overlook it at another person whom you meet from time to time. But I tell you that this gets really, really difficult for the person himself or herself and even annoying for the people around!
How come? Well, I already pointed out that some people raise their self-esteem with the feeling that they are indispensable. This means that they have to show themselves and the world around that they are the ones who do it right and it wouldn’t work without them. The best way for this is to show others their faults. These have to be found first! That’s how these people develop – consciously or subconsciously – a very good eye for those things which are not working perfectly fine.
Once such a spot is found, they focus on it. They lament about it. They show the consequences of this fault and once you hear them talk about it, you feel, too, that only this fact, this one mistake, means that the world will crash down around you.
Yes, if you are with one of the hard-core control freaks you will regularly have this feeling: you are doing something wrong which will lead to the end of the world! It is definitely not a nice feeling!
As annoying it is for you to be close to this person on the long run, as horrible it is for the person himself whenever he tries to leave this habit! It is hard to stop yourself from seeing everything in a negative way if you have done that for years and years! I always call these people the ‘hole-seekers’ because they manage to find a hole in every blanket, the bad thing in everything good. You can be sure, if there is any flaw, they will find it – and there will be a point that they get annoyed with themselves, too. Hopefully it is on time and not after everyone else has already become upset with them!