So I was here with all these thoughts in my mind while people slowly started leaving the Ashram. Finally, only my family remained and we had some time of peace together.
On the day on which I had entered the cave, I had shaved my head but obviously my hair kept on growing for the next three years. As I did not care about how my hair looked like, I did not brush it or do anything with it and it thus grew into natural kind of dreadlocks. In the front, it formed separate dreadlocks out of strands of hair but in the back, it became a single mat of felted hair, the size of two hands next to each other. In order to sort this out, my father and my brothers started tearing this mat into ten single locks. It took some time and quite some effort, additionally a few cuts with scissors and then when it was done, I had dreadlocks.
This sorted out my outer appearance a little bit and also for my inner controversies about what to do next a picture started to form.
Growing up in Hindu religion and the Brahman caste, I studied the scriptures and preaching about the Ramayan, the Gita and the Bhagwat had become my profession. In India people organized big programs that usually were for the length of nine full days. Among the invitations that I got after my time in the cave, I received one which was very different and which I chose to follow as it seemed to present the possibility for me to make a change.
I had a friend in South India whose family were disciples of my father. This family was also here on the day that I came out of the cave. Only my friend was missing as he had started a job as an IT professional in Germany a few months ago. This friend phoned me some time later and said ‘Oh, I could not come, but it would be great if you could visit me here in Germany!’ Spontaneously I just said that I would come.
I knew that he was young and just very new in Germany, so it would only be a friendly visit, no work or any preaching program. Additionally to that however I got the same kind of invitation from an Indian family who lived on Mallorca, Spain, and from an Indian family based in London. I did not know much about England, Spain or Germany. I knew that it was in Europe but apart from that I did not know much more. My schooling had not been in English, so I could only speak very little English but I wanted to do something different. I wanted to escape the expectations that I felt from my disciples and thought this might be just a possibility to do something else, go somewhere and see something else.
I did not have any expectation that I would someday settle down there, work there or give lectures there. I just wanted to go and decided to do it. Four months, from the day that I went out of the cave until my departure to Germany, I only spent on getting used to normal life again. It took this time to arrive back into this world, to start wearing clothes, to walk outside and talk to people in a normal way and of course to prepare myself for this new adventure of life.
These preparations were very basic and when I talked to my friend shortly before leaving, I told him that I didn’t even know where exactly Germany was. He said ‘Don’t worry, just sit in the plane, I will pick you up at the airport.’
And this is how my first journey to Europe started.
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कृपया ग्लानि न करें यदि किसी की कल्पना करके आपका खड़ा अथवा गीली हो जाए
Bitte haben Sie kein schlechtes Gewissen, wenn Sie eine Erektion bekommen oder nass werden, weil Sie sich jemanden vorstellen
Please don’t feel guilty if you get erection or wet by imagining someone
Meine Beziehung zu meinem Vater
My relationship with my father
पिता के साथ मेरा सम्बन्ध
Neues Kapitel im Leben, Herausforderungen und Lektionen
New chapter in life, challenges and lessons
Swami ji it is really interesting to read your life story after cave, I really enjoy it much. I have read few biographies of different saints and spiritual masters as well as Indians but never got a chance to read someone’s like you who has done something what I never heard of doing it. I love the simplicity of your spirituality.
I really like the way that your first visit to Germany unfolded. I’m not surprised it happened that way or that you would describe it happening that way.
It has been over a decade since the cave was part of your life. Your consciousness was different when you came out of the cave. Did it start to “return” to how it had been before at any point? If so did you feel like you were loosing something?
I like this photo on the backwaters!
I can’t wait for the next entry.Thank you for doing this Swami Ji.
It means a lot to at least this one of your readers.
No expectations: Your describing a state of heightened consciousness.
Things happen very well when you are allowing them to happen on their own.
Did it cross your mind at this point that your career was over? or was that a question that could not only not be answered but that wasn’t important at all?
What did your family say about all of this? What did your father say about you flying off to Germany? Did he trust you? Did he think that you were now supernatural?
Love this photo. Houseboat?
Oh Wow! What an adventure!
The first time I randomly decided to leave the country was to go to Israel, and by the time I left I knew nothing about the country- still thought they were called Israelites. It happens. then you go and see what it’s like, fresh eyes.
Nice to have a place you can get away to. I assume your culture must have seemed tiring after coming out of the cave- time for new kinds of stimulus.
Haha, I love that, don’t worry just sit in the plane…actually sometimes when I am nervous about a new trip that I am taking I simply tell myself to not worry but to,just make it to the plane, get on the plane, sit and be comfortable and the rest will take care of itself. Most of the time whenever I travel this helps to calm me down and even become more excited about going to a new place all together!