I was happy to be back in Vrindavan in the third week of August. As mentioned I had celebrated Krishna’s birthday in the Hindu temple in Thailand but in time for Radha’s birthday I was back in Vrindavan. Radhasthami is anyway a special day of celebration in Vrindavan, the town where Radha and Krishna found each other. And Radhashtami is also the birthday of Swami Haridas, a great musician, poet and spiritual person who lived in the 16th century.
Radhashtami has thus always been a very special day, already in my childhood and not only because of the celebrations in our town but particularly in my family, as it is also the birthday of my grandfather Sri Bindu Ji. Ever since my grandfather has left his body on 1st December 1964, my father celebrates his birthday every year. So we grew up with this day being one of the biggest celebrations of the year and the months before filled with preparations for it.
We gave orders to print big posters, hoardings and invitation cards months before. I remember going out in Vrindavan as a teenager with my brothers and friends to put up posters all around the town. We went on our bicycles and I even remember driving a rickshaw once, full with posters and glue. It was our excuse to be out until late and we were proud of our work. I also remember sitting together with friends and writing addresses by hand on the envelopes of invitations which were then sent out to spiritual people in the whole country.
Among our guests were big gurus and spiritual celebrities who felt proud to be invited on this occasion. They came to honour my grandfather and of course were also happy to come to Vrindavan in this festive time. They were happy to come and we were happy to invite them. This kind of celebration is like a conference. The most important invited people get a few minutes each for speaking on stage and in this way there is a daily program of five or six hours for several days. After all our advertising there were always many people and we had many big celebrations.
I had chosen this special day for going into the cave in 1997. For the following three Radhashtami celebrations I was in the cave, so after coming out on 24th December 2000, this Radhashtami should be the first anniversary celebration of entering the cave that I would actually participate in personally.
We had a big stage set up in the Ashram gardens. Of course everybody was eager to hear from me about my experience in the cave and after that when traveling out of India. I thus had a speech on stage and then was talking off stage with my disciples in a more informal way. They wanted to know more about my future ideas and whether I would like to continue my journeys.
I enjoyed meeting people whom I had not seen for a long time and had also in a way looked forward to this celebration. While I had been in Thailand, a bit bored and lonely, I had thought of Radhashtami and of how many people would be there and how nice the celebration would be.
After the time in the cave I had however gained another point of perspective on all those religious ceremonies, rituals and everything surrounding it. It was as if I had earlier been in the middle of all this and now was standing a bit at the side, watching it. I had become an observer while others thought me to still be a part of it. And from this point of view, the actions of many of those highly estimated spiritual people seemed a bit like a drama. I had been a close part of this all, and was still among them at that moment but at the same time I felt a little bit at the side of this group of people, as if my time in the cave had loosened this connection. It was as if I was alone in the middle of the crowd and whenever I realized this feeling, it confused me. I felt it but could not yet fully analyze why.
It was nevertheless a great celebration and lots of fun. I met and talked with so many people whom I had seen for the last time when I entered the cave, that day exactly four years ago.
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You describe the atmosphere so well, I can feel how you must have felt there! It is like this when you develop on your spiritual path. The higher you go, the less people will be there who surround you.
A bit sad but still wonderful to think of this development, don’t you think?Thank you for letting us take part in this and sharing your experiences!
Radhashtami! That was the festival that took place when I was there, right? All those people dancing in the street?We had such a great time! And in your childhood it must have been even better!
Thank you for this sharing. One gets a better understanding of your path from being a guru to being the person I got to know
Looking forward to see you dear H C. Then we will have plenty of time to share our heart. Love
Dear Maike,Thank you for writing here and we are happy you like Balendu’s blog.
I however believe that when you go further on your spiritual path, it doesn’t mean that you are alone. There may be less people than in a big crowd but it is always like this that real friends are only a few, isn’t it?
I think everybody can confirm this. And then, too, so many are on ‘spiritual paths’ these days that you might think, those paths are the most crowded ones 🙂
Love!
Dear Carl,I actually am not sad about it. If I had not changed then, I would not be who I am now and that would be something really sad…
Thank you for reading and commenting! Much love!