One day my German friend took me to a woman who was his friend. She had a guest in that time, another woman, and when my friend invited them to come to visit us the next day for dinner, they both accepted.
So on that day, we were all sitting together, had dinner and were talking. It got late and my friend’s wife said she would go to bed. My friend was the next one to go to bed and finally one of the women said, she would leave, too. Her friend, the woman whom I had only met the day before, said she would stay a little bit longer. And so we were sitting there, on the couch, next to each other and she while talking, she moved a bit closer to me.
I pretended to be cool and experienced even though I was not at all. I was so excited in that situation and was thinking tonight, in this November night in 2001, that would happen which had not happened in the last 30 years. I was showing as if I am used to sitting with women like this, as if I daily did it but the truth was this it was the first time.
I remembered the talk of my Indian friend who had been my first host here in Germany. Once he told me that people were much more open towards sex here than in India. If you got to know a girl and started a friendship with her, you could at some point also ask her to have sex with you. She would not mind it and in most cases would be ready for it. That’s what he knew, the Indian man who was living and working here for a bit more than six months. That was his impression in this new culture. When I asked him if he had had such an encounter in those six months, he said very innocently ‘No’ and I knew he was not lying.
I was much newer to this country and culture than my friend and there was this woman, who was friend of my friend’s friend, sitting next to me on the sofa. I didn’t really know her, my English was still not good enough to have a big conversation and I did not have the courage to touch her even though I was very curious and wanted to. Thank God she started and took my hand to hold it in hers. I still pretended to be cool and experienced and thought it would be best to do what she did. I reacted on the same level to her action and held her hand. Anyway, what else could happen, after a while we hugged and were soon lying on the sofa, our clothes lying around us, and I had my first experience.
I had not told her that it was my first time before we started and when I told her afterwards, she was surprised and said that I seemed very experienced to her. I was happy and proud that I had played a good role. I smiled and answered ‘You know, I come from the land of Kama Sutra and have studied that’. She smiled back and replied ‘Yes, I knew you are a Tantra Master!’ It was not the right situation to say something but by myself I thought ‘What does this have to do with Tantra?’ I had not yet understood that people in the west think Tantra means sex.
I was not sad to lose my virginity but on the contrary I was happy for not being celibate any more. Celibacy came to my life naturally, not because I was following any tradition of celibacy. My parents were obviously not celibate, they gave life to me and three siblings. I was not following any other tradition than my family tradition and they wanted me to get married already when I turned 18. This was however not my interest. Instead I wanted to travel and preach. Later I went into the cave, so I just did not have any opportunity to lose my virginity.
We fell asleep on the sofa and woke up in the morning, when my German friend came down to make coffee. He waved and smiled at me and I smiled back, saying Good Morning.
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Dear Swamiji,:-)) I was wondering if this comment would be appropriate to post. Please let me know.
My intentions are not to hurt anyone but only to express my view and opinion. :-))
:-)) I also want to tell you that I have not had sex until now, and will only have with my married life-partner in future.
It was nice to hear about your experience. You also say that you are not sad to lose your virginity, and you are also happy for not being celibate any more.
You have very much expressed your views and real truth, that you have already experienced in your life. It is always good to express the truth.
Well mistakes do happen in life, but we can rectify these mistakes only when we accept them.
But one question is pondering. Should we teach the same things to our next generation? to our children.
Should we teach them to lose their celibacy and to lose their virginity?
Just imagine when someone accepts certain principals in life, which will eventually carve his character. Will a person who has lost his celibacy and virginity, expect the same from their life-partner? Will this person ever have a relationship with a life-partner who is a celibate. Is it fair to keep losing celibacy again and again, just to accomplish sexual desires. Should we humans control our desires to attain our humble and noble objectives of life.
Being tolerant is good, but is it good to lose ones identity and principals. Can we be good parents and teachers if we lose our principals.
Here is a nice song, I want to dedicate 🙂
This song signifies the qualities of Vaishnava, it says: A Vaishnav sees everything equally, rejects greed and avarice, Considers some one else’s wife/daughter as his mother.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJb6RTGZd_4
Here is the meaning of this song: A Vaishnav, Tolerates and praises the the entire world, Does not say bad things about anyone, Keeps his/her words, actions and thoughts pure. A Vaishnav sees everything equally, rejects greed and avarice, Considers some one else’s wife/daughter as his mother.
The tongue may get tired, but will never speak lies. Does not even touch someone else’s property.
Who has no greed and deceit, Who has renounced lust of all types and anger.
Dear Manoj,Thank you for your comment.
I laughed a lot with your message. There is no need to be so serious about this. I hope you don’t mind me saying this but I am enjoying my time with your comment.
I especially wondered how many times you could lose your virginity or celibacy? Who would not like to lose their virginity daily and be virgin again the next day?
Well, I wish you all the best and am sure you will make your future wife happy! Don’t worry too much about your or her virginity.
Much love
Soo interesting..
So sweet Swami Balendu! :))
I love this! Both, your “coolness” at that time and your way to tell about it now!
Very sweet Swami ji from your side to share it with us… It makes me think: why going crazy running after it or because we did not get it yet..
I love the Honesty! For without honesty there is no spirituality!
I took another path and im sick of myself.. i wany to start celibacy and dedicate my life to cannabis and helping people