One day my German friend took me to a woman who was his friend. She had a guest in that time, another woman, and when my friend invited them to come to visit us the next day for dinner, they both accepted.
So on that day, we were all sitting together, had dinner and were talking. It got late and my friend’s wife said she would go to bed. My friend was the next one to go to bed and finally one of the women said, she would leave, too. Her friend, the woman whom I had only met the day before, said she would stay a little bit longer. And so we were sitting there, on the couch, next to each other and she while talking, she moved a bit closer to me.
I pretended to be cool and experienced even though I was not at all. I was so excited in that situation and was thinking tonight, in this November night in 2001, that would happen which had not happened in the last 30 years. I was showing as if I am used to sitting with women like this, as if I daily did it but the truth was this it was the first time.
I remembered the talk of my Indian friend who had been my first host here in Germany. Once he told me that people were much more open towards sex here than in India. If you got to know a girl and started a friendship with her, you could at some point also ask her to have sex with you. She would not mind it and in most cases would be ready for it. That’s what he knew, the Indian man who was living and working here for a bit more than six months. That was his impression in this new culture. When I asked him if he had had such an encounter in those six months, he said very innocently ‘No’ and I knew he was not lying.
I was much newer to this country and culture than my friend and there was this woman, who was friend of my friend’s friend, sitting next to me on the sofa. I didn’t really know her, my English was still not good enough to have a big conversation and I did not have the courage to touch her even though I was very curious and wanted to. Thank God she started and took my hand to hold it in hers. I still pretended to be cool and experienced and thought it would be best to do what she did. I reacted on the same level to her action and held her hand. Anyway, what else could happen, after a while we hugged and were soon lying on the sofa, our clothes lying around us, and I had my first experience.
I had not told her that it was my first time before we started and when I told her afterwards, she was surprised and said that I seemed very experienced to her. I was happy and proud that I had played a good role. I smiled and answered ‘You know, I come from the land of Kama Sutra and have studied that’. She smiled back and replied ‘Yes, I knew you are a Tantra Master!’ It was not the right situation to say something but by myself I thought ‘What does this have to do with Tantra?’ I had not yet understood that people in the west think Tantra means sex.
I was not sad to lose my virginity but on the contrary I was happy for not being celibate any more. Celibacy came to my life naturally, not because I was following any tradition of celibacy. My parents were obviously not celibate, they gave life to me and three siblings. I was not following any other tradition than my family tradition and they wanted me to get married already when I turned 18. This was however not my interest. Instead I wanted to travel and preach. Later I went into the cave, so I just did not have any opportunity to lose my virginity.
We fell asleep on the sofa and woke up in the morning, when my German friend came down to make coffee. He waved and smiled at me and I smiled back, saying Good Morning.