I have had a few thoughts on partnerships and the togetherness with the one you love most in your life.
In the evenings, after dinner and after having spent time with our guests, we often sit inside my father’s room to be with him for a while, too. It is the time before Apra starts going to bed – or more precisely before the steps that lead to her falling asleep. We play, we talk, we simply spend time together, all sitting on his bed. Yesterday, when we were sitting there together, I leaned my head on Ramona’s shoulder, she moved a bit further towards me and so I was half lying there, cradled in her arms. That feeling which I had then started my thoughts.
Of course I felt loved but there was more to it, finer nuances. I felt hugged, taken care of and protected. It may sound funny, as there is nothing that Ramona would need to protect me of and of course, for everyone who thinks that is an unmanly feeling, I am able to protect myself. 🙂 That feeling is there though and it is a very beautiful feeling, a feeling of trust and love.
At the same time I remembered how beautiful it is for me to hold her in my arms as well! The feeling of having another human whom you can care for and provide for – even though, for every feminist who is reading my blog, my wife is fully able to provide for herself! 🙂 This feeling is also wonderful and although I of course feel this more intensely with Apra, who as a child really depends on me and the adults around her, it is obviously different with Ramona. I feel proud that this woman has chosen me to be the one in whose arms she wants to lie and on whose shoulder she wants to lean when she needs it or wants it.
I know that these feelings are somewhat primal, that there are very basic instincts to it that make them appear in our hearts, bodies and minds. That doesn’t make them less important though, I believe. It is important for me to feel them and I cherish them each time I feel them consciously!
What amazed me yesterday was the realization that we truly have both sides of these feelings. When talking about primal instincts, you think that the man will always feel the pride of being the protector and the urge of being the provider whereas the woman will always want to be protected and taken care of. I know however that we all have both and I think we should live both sides!
I talked with my wife and she, too, has experienced both feelings. I guess it is a sense that can appear in today’s relationships, in a modern society because it is possible in today’s time for a man to accept that he wants to be protected, too, and for a woman to accept that she, too, would like to provide for those she loves.
We need to accept both sides – and I hope you can enjoy them the way I do!