My German Wife and I - our own intercultural Relationship

My German Wife and I – our own intercultural Relationship – 5 Jul 15

Post author:Balendu
Post published:05/07/2015
Post category:My Life
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In the past two weeks I have been writing about couples of an Indian man and a western woman. I started writing about western women chatting with Indian men, which is where this series started – because so many of them get disappointed when the Indian man doesn’t take them serious. I then went on to give a few ideas to couples who are actually getting serious, describing the challenges they may have to face. Obviously, I have not only been inspired to write these blog entries by the many couples who have told me of their experiences but also by my own relationship. Nevertheless, I am happy to be able to say that Ramona, my German wife, and I have definitely had it a lot easier than many other international couples!

It all starts with the fact that we did not actually meet online. Of course, the first point of contact was an email from her to me but very soon after that, we actually met in real life – and got to know each other personally after that. Although we had some talk over chat and phone, we never had to doubt the truth of what the other one told about himself, as we knew we would anyway get to see the other one again soon and find out more. This meant that we never had the insecurities people feel when starting a relationship online – because ours started in real life.

We were both present in person, in Germany. I had actually spent a good part of seven years previous to meeting her in the west already, working with people, getting to know them and to understand their mentality. I had many German friends and had thus already experienced many of the cultural differences in between us. Experienced and often appreciated, so that I had even adopted a few of the characteristics of my wife’s fellow countrymen into my own life. So while my wife met an Indian person from up close for the first time in her life, I could imagine and follow the ways her mind went when we were talking.

We both could focus on our love and relationship – and did not even have to think about ‘moving to India’. We spent the first years of our relationship travelling the world, never staying longer than three, maximum four months in one country. We moved from Germany to India and to many other countries and got closer to each other, deeper into our love, without really having to deal with a certain living situation. Ramona never actually had that big move, this point of ‘emigration’, as it happened slowly, gradually, not all at once.

During the months at the Ashram however, and also after our decision to travel less and stay at home, in India, we were also in an exceptionally good situation. Why? Because I have an exceptional family. Yes, I can just say it again, proudly and full of love for my brothers, my parents and my grandmother. They couldn’t have been more loving to my wife!

I have been lucky to grow up in a family which was always open. This readiness to explore and accept whatever new comes the way made it possible that my German wife just walked into everyone’s hearts and was immediately loved. No questions asked, no rules or conditions set. She was the woman I loved, so they loved her, too.

I think I don’t need to write any extra words on the relationship of my wife and my mother. It was full of love, which you can read in my wife’s blog entry after my mother’s death.

I am writing this all, on one hand to let you know that while it is of course personal experience that makes me write such blog entries, I was happy to not actually have faced those issues with my wife. Nor my wife with my family. On the other hand I noticed once more, while writing, how lucky we are – and that was definitely fitting for a Sunday’s blog in which I write about my personal life!

I wish you, in whatever relationship you may be, intercultural, international or just inter-human, as much luck and love as we had and are having right now!