Back in Germany in the beginning winter of 2006, Yashendu and I just worked as we had done before my sister had died. Travelling from one place to the other, staying everywhere for about a week, giving workshops and individual counselling sessions. When something tragic happens in life, you have to go on but tragedies do change life – and you notice that in your every day’s work as well.
We travelled, together with our Indian flute player, to many different towns in Europe. We were horribly sad but even in such a state of mind, we connected with people, did our workshops, smiled and shared. When you occupy your mind with something else than your grief, it is easier not to think of it, not to fall back into the sadness and to just react, think and talk as you usually would. During the individual counselling sessions however, I was reminded of my sister many times.
People come to me to share their troubles and many times those are emotional. When a woman came to me in that time and told me that her husband had passed away, how could I not think of my sister? I shared my own grief with her. Together we just sat for a while, feeling the love for the one who had left and sharing the feeling of missing a loved one in daily life. In the end, I told her we had to go on and we looked at each other, knowing that we both would.
Another time, a young woman came and told me that she had a fight with her brother. So bad that she had finished all contact with him. She told me in tears that she loved him but also felt that she never wanted to see him again, feeling very conflicted in those emotions. I could not help but be glad that my sister and I had never had such a fight. I reminded this woman of the fact that life can be very short. She loved him and knowing this, she should not let this fight be the last thing that had happened in between the two of them. Don’t end it all with a fight – you never know about tomorrow!
Several times I cried with friends who had known her. We remembered her and I felt support once more from those who love me.
Life really moved on and at the same time, Para remained with me and no day went by that I didn’t think of her.
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Sexually abused sister at 11 and my guilt for not being able to save her!
I got stabbed in my back by my family in India
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