One of the people whom I met on the big program in Dublin in 2005 was a woman from the area. We met there, she liked the program and came for individual sessions, too. In the following years I would be a help for her many times and mostly in one way: listening to what she wanted to say.
Let me describe you this lady a little bit. She was in her thirties and single. She had a real estate business and the first thing that I can remember I got to know about her was that she was afraid she could lose money. In later talks I got the impression that her focus was often going towards the financial aspect of the things we talked about and it paired itself often with the fear of losing money, of complete ruin or the general feeling of not having enough money. Obviously her fears for the real estate prices were not baseless – which showed itself years later, when the market crashed in the Irish economy crisis – but the root of this fear was not the consequence of logical reasoning in her mind, it came from her feelings, without any further cause. I often felt that she was deeply insecure.
This insecurity did not only reflect when it came to money. It was pretty much all over her life. She was searching for a partner, as every normal single man or woman does, and as she was a jolly and open woman, I witnessed over the years several attempts with different men in different countries. I believe that it was her insecurity in the majority of these cases that made the relation end before it could even really begin. She simply had difficulties taking decisions.
Her insecurity was the reason why she had until then been running from one guru to the other, trying to find a spiritual master to whom she could devote herself. Someone who would tell her what to do, so that she could trust that she was doing the right thing. She had spent longer periods of her life with different spiritual leaders and in the search for one she had probably also come to my program.
All I did was to listen to her problems. She mostly had the solution ready already, too. She was clever enough and not wrong with her ideas, so she mostly already knew what I would probably say and I thus only had to say ‘yes’ and listen. This was what usually gave her enough confirmation to actually go through with something. She needed that, someone to listen and tell her ‘Yes, that is right, you are doing fine!’
There were a few times when I had to tell her the opposite of what she was thinking, though. I told her honestly and outspoken as I am that I thought what she had just told me was utter and complete nonsense and that I would never in my life even think of such a thing. I was very clear – and she needed exactly that. She accepted my opinion also if it was completely different of hers. She immediately turned to my opinion and said ‘Oh yes, you are right.’
When I realized that, I thought that this was getting too close to my old role as a guru – I didn’t want to be that anymore for anybody, be that an Indian or an Irish follower. What could I do about it?
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I feel that insecurity has taken over much of the world, especially throughout the western areas. Being western myself I witness from not only friends and family, but an entire nation who adore ‘celebrity’ lifestlyes, and follow them to an unhealthy degree, because I believe, of a lacking within of their own, and subsequent fundamental personal insecurity. People in society; and I speak mainly of the UK, the USA, and other commercial societies etc, for these are countries I know best, do not spend enough time getting to know their real selves, and as a result grow into a world unsure of their individuality, surroundeed by others experiencing equally as much confusion. No wonder much of the world has lost it’s way, and celebrities are often a child’s main role model. I believe the way forward, and the way to improve the world we have left, is to remind ourselves of humanity, and the uniqueness of every human being, and encourage personal growth within each other. Not to educate everyone on the best money making schemes that will inevitably bring the world, and it’s business model of economic growth to it’s inevitable demise. Celebrate the soul, and our connection with nature, not with machines, and only then will societies come together, and support each other in putting right what past generations have lost.