Misjudging a Person in spite of Love and Friendship

On my Europe-tour in 2004, I went to London as I had done always on my journeys. It was the usual stay with lectures and programs and, also as usual, I was very busy in London. From there I went to a country that I had not been before, to Ireland. I had got an invitation by a yoga center which was out on the countryside. There I got to know a man who became my friend and also my biggest case of misjudging someone or trusting on someone’s love and friendship who could not be stable in it.

He actually came for a spiritual healing session and we had a long talk about his life and problems and I told him my opinion and gave some suggestions on how he could see his problems differently. He was happy and seemed to like me immediately. He came again and we stayed in touch. I was always open and met many people wherever I was. Those who were interested could easily become my friends, people of whom I thought they loved me.

Over the course of time he came to meet me in several different places. He came to my program in London, in Scotland, in Greece and he even followed my open invitation to everybody to come and visit our Ashram in India. After that he invited me to Ireland again, organizing program for me himself.

Of course in this whole time I got to know this man better and could see that he had several issues with his personality that he was maybe not even aware of. When you feel that a person loves you however, you focus on that love and the friendship that has been established. Because of this friendship I know that I ignored strange behavior several times even though I was well aware that I did not like it.

He sometimes acted funnily in front of other people and had also a very strange kind of humour, saying things that were really not funny and laughing himself loudly about them.

To give you an example, I gave an interview for a newspaper once with him sitting by my side as the organizer of my program. The journalist, after questions about my life, asked what I thought of the Dalai Lama. Before I could even say a word, he said ‘He said he is a right f*cker!’ and started laughing. Can you imagine that? Just in front of this journalist who is recording everything is says such a thing which is not only untrue but very insulting! It is insulting to say that about anyone but it is especially outrageous to say that about someone who is a globally renowned and respected person whom I have never met! I set that straight right away and told the journalist that I had never said that.

This was not the only incident in which he did something that gave a bad impression on other people. I did not know this when I met him in the beginning but with time I got to know that he was also a heavy smoker and was used to drink lots of alcohol, too. There was even talk about drugs that he sometimes took although I never witnessed that.

You may call me naïve if you like and today I know I probably was, but I trusted in this feeling that I had that he really liked me. I wanted to help this man because I saw that he had problems and I hoped that with my help and influence and through being with me, his life could become better.

Next week I will let you know how I got convinced that it was not helpful for him and not for me to keep this friendship alive.