My German Friends' Wedding at the Ashram

Today I will report you about an event in 2005 that I personally did not actually witness but which was reported to me many times and of which I have seen pictures and videos: two of my German friends got married at the Ashram! But let me start telling you this story from the very beginning.

These two friends had told of their idea to make a journey to India. The man had visited India several times before but it would be the first time for his wife. They had heard about the ceremonies and rituals in Indian weddings, had seen videos and were fascinated by them and when I invited them to come to our Ashram, they had the wish to have an Indian wedding. I told them that this was of course possible and they made their plans. Somehow though this was the point where we obviously had a small misunderstanding.

They arrived at the Delhi airport in October and were welcomed there by my brother Yashendu whom they had already met when he had been in Germany. In happy anticipation they came to the Ashram, expecting to hug me at the doorstep – but I was not there! My brothers explained that I had gone for a program in Ireland! They were very surprised, to say the least. They did not really know Yashendu well and did not know my second brother Purnendu at all but most of all they had one question: what about their wedding ceremony if I was not even there to perform it?

I got to know much later that they had not known I wouldn’t be there. I believed that I had told them and I had of course told my brothers about their visit. My program had been fixed before – but we had obviously had some miscommunication! In the same way that they did not realize I wouldn’t be there, I had not realized that they expected me to perform their wedding ceremony! I understand why they may have thought I could do that: I knew the holy scriptures and knew of course about all the rituals of any kind of occasion, as they are described in the scriptures as well. They did not know however that we have a different type of priest for performing all those ceremonies! I had never in my life wed anybody nor have my brothers or father! We were preachers, interpreting, reciting and explaining the scriptures and we usually did not perform the rituals. We did know priests who did though and that’s what I had on my mind when I had invited them to marry in our Ashram.

So there they were, a bit confused and even ready to skip the wedding and just travel on. Purnendu decided that it would be time to talk to me and simply handed them the phone. Funnily, I cannot remember that they told me even then that they had thought I would be there. In any case, I told them that my family would do everything for the wedding and that they should not worry but relax and enjoy their time.

Luckily they agreed and my family started the preparations for their wedding on the 19th October 2005. My brothers and my sister arranged everything. They got the wedding clothes, prepared the fire place for the ritual, all the things that are needed for the wedding, asked the performing priest to come, helped our friends into their clothes, told them when they would need to do what and took pictures and videos. It was an unforgettable evening for everyone and it connected them deeply with my family and the Ashram.

Although I was not there, I am very happy that my friends had their Indian wedding in our home. They even stayed for the Diwali celebrations not much later and enjoyed the festive dinner in our home. Until today they tell how it touched them to be welcomed like family, taken care of by everyone without any expectations.

I am happy that we could welcome these two special friends many times more after this first visit to the Ashram. My family and I have been welcomed in just the same way in their home with the same love. And today I can say with much joy that they married in our home and my wife’s and my own German wedding took place in their home.