Last week you read how I decided that I would not stay with my organizer in Australia because she was advertising my work as she did hers – with the label ‘Tantra’, including all the sexual associations that exist in the west for this word. I had decided that I could not work with this woman but that left me in an emotional turmoil. Where should I go in this country, where I had only once been before and where I did not know anybody?
I was very upset in that evening, after I had overheard her phone call to a client. I made a phone call to India in that night, wishing to talk with my family about the situation. I remember that I even cried about my situation, telling my younger brother that I just wanted to get out of there! I didn’t want to work there, it was not the right place, the organizer not the right person and the clients probably full of such expectations that I could definitely not fulfill!
Talking to my family made me feel better and my younger brothers had some reasonable advice as well: I had a booked flight to Gold Coast where I would give my next program, not even a week from that day. So even if I left this woman’s center the next morning, I would only have to pass another four days until I could take my flight. For this little time I could even check in into a hotel and just spend the days there, if I really didn’t know anybody to stay with.
I didn’t know anybody in this area from my previous stay, as I had been in a completely different region, but I had a chat acquaintance of whom I thought she lived close-by. So I called this woman with whom I had only ever exchanged some chat messages and asked her for support in my difficult situation. I did not explain the whole case but just told her that I was not feeling well and needed to leave this place. Could she pick me up and could I just stay at her place for some days?
I was so happy when she said ‘Yes, of course! Don’t worry, I am one and a half hours away and I will come and pick you up tomorrow! I have a small house and two children but you can stay with us as long as you want!’ I assured her that it was just for four days and thanked her from the bottom of my heart.
After having made this arrangement, I left my room once more and found my organizer still awake. I told her that I would not be able to do the planned workshop and sessions but that I would leave the next day.
I did my best to explain her peacefully that our ideas and ways were very different. I did not want her to be my ‘all-Australia manager’ and I absolutely had nothing to do with the way how she worked, didn’t want to get associated with the ‘Tantric’ workshops and sessions that people did and just could not work in this way.
The next morning, my acquaintance came, I said good-bye to my organizer and got into the car. I left and felt never better to leave a place! On the way, I just poured out the whole story to this woman, explaining how I had so suddenly needed her help.
Yes, I will definitely remember this former pole-dancer who had turned into a Tantric yogi. I had learnt that I would make efforts to get to know my organizers a bit better before coming to them – maybe I would be able to avoid such situations in future!