When Ramona and I were talking a bit about money last week, I realized once more in what a nice situation we are here in our family and how unnecessarily some people get stressed about money. Let me explain you this a little bit in detail.
We live together in a family and believe that you should share with each other. This does not only mean that we share the space that we are living in with each other. It is also not only our feelings that we share with each other. We also share money.
This does not mean that we don’t have separate bank accounts – we do, but we don’t stick to the idea that the money on one person’s bank account is only his. If we need to buy something and money is needed, it does not matter for us which bank account we are taking it out from. None of us will get angry if ‘his’ money is being used. Of course we sometimes make jokes about this but in the end we all know that we have so much more simply because we don’t think of ‘mine’ and ‘yours’.
Only with this attitude I feel we can live together in peace with each other. I have seen, heard and experienced how many families had big trouble just because of money. Inheritance is one problem factor and then of course there is always the question how much one earns and the other one spends.
When I hear, especially in the west, that even married couples have separate bank accounts and find this very important, I often wonder how they manage. If I then hear that they have fights over money, I can understand that they actually don’t manage well. Who pays the rent for the house you are living in together? For the food you all eat? For the car that maybe one of you uses more than the other? The electricity, gas, oil, etc? There are so many factors where you have to exactly calculate whose money goes where.
I am so glad that we don’t have to make this calculation in our family. It makes so many things so much easier. One feels also much richer! Just think: you see the whole amount of wealth that your family has and it makes you feel good. If that amount was divided by eight or more people, you would not feel as rich. So why don’t you see it as a whole and be happy?
I know many people who think they cannot live like this because they need the security of ‘their’ money. Don’t cling to ‘your’ money because of insecurity. If you share with others, it will not make you insecure! No, it will give you security because there will always be someone on whom you can rely and who will buy the bread if you don’t have the money for it at the moment. The personal earnings of your family, everything that comes in goes into one pot and everything that goes out, goes out from that pot.
If you have fights with your family because of money, I want to suggest you to get a big more relaxed about it. Don’t have the ego of having ‘yours’ and let go of your fear.
That is the real meaning of family, of love, of sharing. It includes money and it makes you free.