Do not Decide before how the Future will be – 27 Jan 09


The last two days I wrote about judging others and today a woman came for a healing session who also talked about this. When I asked her for what she would like to have healing she said that she wanted to change her thinking. “I realize myself that I have stereotyped thinking. I notice that I often judge others before I really get to know them. I just hear their voice or I see them and then I do not really give them a chance.”

I told her that it is already great that she realizes this. This is the first step. I think I have written about this subject before, too. Many people have a pre-decided mind. It can be for persons, for places but also for situations. Imagine someone tells you of a new restaurant and tells you the name. You do not like the name and maybe you didn’t like the restaurant which was in the same house before and you immediately think that the new restaurant cannot be good.

One day a friend of mine said ‘I don’t like mushrooms’ and he put them aside on his plate. When I asked him if he had ever tried mushrooms he said ‘No, never.’ How can he know that he doesn’t like it if he never tasted? Or someone invites you to a meeting in a café and you imagine that if you go there you will only stand around and it will be horribly boring. So you set your mind and don’t go there. Or you go there and are in a bad mood because you knew before it would be boring. But maybe you just cannot enjoy it because you decided before that you would not like it. You cannot be open and have fun or accept the situation as it is because your mind was set before. And in this way you keep yourself from having fun, from enjoying, from being happy.

The woman who was with me today had seen this and she knows already that you need to work on yourself to get rid of this thinking. Be open and accept the things as they come. Then you can really enjoy.

Judging, Mind, Mood

4 Replies to “Do not Decide before how the Future will be – 27 Jan 09”

  1. It is a painful experience to judge others. It is not satisfying. Ask yourself with tenderness why you wish to do this to yourself. Remind yourself that you do not wish to suffer.

  2. Sometimes you see a person become very agitated and you cannot understand why. You do not feel agitated. If you ask why someone feels frustrated they may list a set of circumstances that still do not upset you. Maybe you feel that they seem a little crazy because there is no reason for them to be upset and still they are very upset. This is how judgment works. A person or situation is as it is. What is happening is happening. You may see what is happening clearly. You may try to change what is happening. That is not judgment. When judgment happens you have turned a neutral circumstance into a complicated problem because it gives you a sense of who you are. If you notice how unhappy this makes you will stop judging

  3. So true… whether our expectations of the future are good or bad, it can ruin the moment that is real! We have to learn how to watch our thoughts and control our minds so that we don’t sabotage the present moment by deciding how it will be ahead of time. Also, you could help your friends stop these thoughts. When they talk about how much they dread an upcoming situation or how excited they are about a future event, gently remind them of what you are doing right here, right now, and that we will think about the future when it becomes the present. 🙂

  4. Why do we have to know what will happen in one or two years? Isn’t it much more interesting just to let it flow? A portion of spontaneity never hurt anyone 😉