The cattle market of arranged marriages – 11 Jan 10


Ramona and I were talking again about one of those topics which are very interesting especially to visitors who come to India from another country: arranged marriage. It is interesting because it is so completely different and also old-fashioned. So we were talking about how parents choose a partner for their daughter, how many questions are asked to the parents of the boy and the other way around and on how many factors it then depends if the match is made or not.

While we were talking like that Ramona said that this is just like on a cattle market. And she is right, the parents find a possible match and talk with the other side’s parents. Sometimes it comes to a meeting, the parents of the boy for example come to meet the girl. Then there they are to have a look at her, how does she look like, how fair is her skin, how tall is she, does she have any flaw? If they don’t find anything wrong, they may agree that their son marries her but imagine if they find her too dark? Or that she is wearing wrong clothes, doesn’t walk nicely or has any other ‘mistake’? Well, then it is just as if they are there for buying an animal, they don’t take it, the wedding will not take place.

But they cannot see inside! How much do they know of the girl just after a meeting of one hour? They don’t know even one bit of her soul. It is a crazy concept, I have written several times about it and it is just sad to see this.

3 Replies to “The cattle market of arranged marriages – 11 Jan 10”

  1. Namaste Swami Balendu, I just read your blog on arranged marriage and I totally agree with what you have said. As a matter of fact I write on similar lines on my blog post i.e. about changing the mindset to resolve our day to day problems in the world that we have created. Thanks, Barkha

  2. Since I have been traveling in India I have wondered if parents that have suffered from their own arranged marriage do not think that they would like better for their children. Perhaps their arranged marriage has been a wonderful experience for them but this cannot always be the case. If parents suffered greatly from their own experience what would cause them to pass this along to their children. Why would they want this for their child? Is it simply that the roots of tradition run to deep to allow for this thought to occur to people. I am sure that in each circumstance the answer to my question would be different. But I am curious.