Yesterday I was talking about the Indian arranged way of developing a relationship. In the western culture I see some similarities. Of course in the west a marriage is not arranged and organized by the family. But I told you that in an arranged marriage the relation starts in a physical way without having established an emotional relation before. In the modern western society and its open attitude towards sex you can see often that a boy and a girl meet in any public place, a restaurant, a disco or a party. First their eyes meet, then some talk, then holding hands, the next body part that meets are the lips, they feel each other’s breath on the face and then it doesn’t take much time to change place and meet further in bed. Of course the emotional relation has not been developed yet. This is the similarity that I wanted to point out. The difference is that you can choose yourself, it is not your family’s choice.
At this point during writing the diary Ramona said that if you have bad luck, then your marriage is arranged and on your wedding day you see your future husband or wife for the first time and realize that he or she is absolutely not the type that you would normally like.
Then I pointed out that it can happen in the west, too, in one way: when you are drunk. You hear often stories about people waking up in the morning next to someone they don’t know. The similarity here and there is that there is no previously developed connection on the emotional level. I would like to add that of course there are in both places different ways of making a relation, too. In the west there are relationships and marriages which are based on a deep connection of the soul and also in India you can find this. Not all couples meet for the first time on their wedding day. Many modern parents also arrange a meeting of their children and ask them for their opinion. It started. You need a connection of the heart to have a long-lasting and happy relationship.
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it seems reversed, first sexual, then emotional. Arranged marriages could be seen as emotional and then sexual, but in the cases where they havent met before of course it is sex (wedding night) and then emotion (the years following the ceremony… hopefully)
It just depends in both situations.
This certainly does happen in the West, but I don’t think it really leads to good, long-term relationships. Lots of people get drunk at a bar, find someone to dance with, kiss, take home, and when they wake up they are displeased with their drunken choice. I think this is an unfortunate event. But it usually doesn’t even lead to a relationship. Many people have that experience and never talk to the person again. Lots of love relationships have more communication and emotional connection in the beginning… but there are all sorts of extremes out there!