Married Couples hiding their Problems behind a Mask of Happiness

Last week I wrote some lines about the struggle in between a woman and her in-laws, the family of her husband. My main topic was the fights and problems in between man and woman which are, in my opinion, due to arranged marriages. Problems over problems but then again, when you get to know the couple, you would not know that they are so often fighting and so upset with each other. They manage putting up a nice façade and showing the picture of a perfect couple in front of others. That is not only an Indian problem though.

Everybody has the dream of having a perfect relationship and most people would also like others to believe that if maybe not everything is perfect, they at least have a good relationship and there are no bigger problems. This is how people tend to show a fake face to their acquaintances and even friends. It would hurt their ego if other people knew about the real state of their marriage. This is how it is often only the neighbours who get to hear what is really going on behind closed doors!

In the west, too, I have seen how people like to fake and wear a mask of happiness although they are deeply unhappy inside. Between partners and spouses, too, this happens but in the west I have the feeling that the limit of tolerating problems is not as high as in India, especially among younger people. I have several friends in my age who tell me that their parents have been fighting their whole lives long but are still married. The generation after that however did not do this anymore! They saw how unhappy their parents were and decided not to do the same mistake! When there are problems, address them. If they are unrepairable, change something, break up or take a divorce.

Especially couples without children take this decision much more easily than couples do here in India. In India it is a stigma to be divorced. Society has decided that you must be a worse person just because of the fact that you were married and decided to get separated. A divorce is something horrible and not something that people easily understand. Even if a husband is drinking or gambling, women stay. Of course many women don’t see any other possibility because they don’t have an income on their own and are not sure how they would be able to live but even those who don’t face financial difficulties rather tend to stay, hoping that something changes for the better.

It is so strange to see all those people who have talked to me about their marriage problems together with their spouses. I know how deeply troubled they are but they show a smiling and laughing face next to their husband or wife. It is this faking, this mask that they put on which I cannot understand.

Why would you rather give up your life and live in unhappiness than changing something? Only not to lose your face in front of society? Don’t you think your personal happiness is more important than what the rest of society thinks? Take off your mask and start fixing the problems in your life!