Four Different Types of Lovers – 12 May 08


As I told you yesterday about the different types of spiritual people, I will tell you today about the four different types of lovers:

People of the first type only love because they get something. They have an expectation, they want something. And if they do not get that their love is gone.

The second type likes to make a contract. It is business love. I love you this much and you have to love me that much. Giving and taking is expected from both sides.

This type of love is in between family members. There is love between brothers, children and parents and other family members. And this is anyway there because it is the family. Your family was arranged for you before you were born and in the normal way there is love in between the members.

Type number four is the unconditional, universal and cosmic love. You always give love, even to people whom you do not know. It doesn’t matter if someone loves you or not.

The first type I would not even call love. They call it love when they get what they want. I love you because you give me bread. I you don’t give bread anymore I don’t love you anymore. I go and find someone else who gives me bread. I love bread. These people love their desires. For having the second kind of love, the business love, you need to get to know the other person first. You need to know what you will get and what you will give. After that you call it love. This is very frequent nowadays. You can say it is love but it is more a business with fixed terms and conditions. In a family you can say that love is automatically there. Parents love their children. Children love their parents. But here, too, you can very often find expectations.

Only in the cosmic love you cannot find conditions and expectations. When you are in real love you give and give. There is no contract which will keep your expectations high. You don’t have to give just because it is family. No, it is unconditional. In this love you can love other children just like your own children. You have love for everyone, wherever they are and whatever they do.

Of course you cannot fit everybody in exactly one category. Normally people are mixing these four types but you can always see a trend towards one of them. Just try to change your patterns towards unconditional love!

This was the last evening in Lüneburg. We had a nice dinner with Michael and Andrea and tomorrow morning we will start to Melle where I will give a lecture for the students of the International Yoga Teacher Training course

5 Replies to “Four Different Types of Lovers – 12 May 08”

  1. I’ve seen myself as a mix off all of these, depending on my mental state at the time and the people I’m dealing with, it moves around.

  2. I never realized this til now, but the reason me and my girlfriend don’t work is because we are both loving at level one. What a realization… I don’t even know where to go from here

  3. I don’t know, I think you make a lot of assumptions about family love because you’re from a family culture. I wouldn’t say families necessarily love the members and I definitely wouldn’t say family love isn’t similar to attachment or business love. I think love #4 is the one. The one that excludes all the others. To me the other three feed in and out of each other.

  4. This is well-stated. I think we can all grow to express more cosmic love. I think cosmic love is the most natural and innate form of love we have. It flows when we smell flowers or look at something beautiful. Only the mind and ego like to limit love into the other types. I hope we can all expand our cosmic love!