I have already hinted at the problem which I want to write about today, a choice that needs to be made in life, that occupies especially parents again and again and can even make us wonder about the sense of life: love of luxury. What do you choose?
Well, romantically speaking, the answer is easy: always choose love. Idealistically, too, it is easy: who needs luxury? But everyone needs love! So just forget all luxuries and go with love!
Now, let’s get to the practical part of this question – and there it gets a bit more difficult. You may well say you choose love over luxury but where does luxury start? It may be obvious luxury to have five holidays a year, all to exotic destinations and flying there with chartered planes. Very few people have to consider this level of luxury though. For most people it is the question how much they should work daily and whether they can make one or even two holidays at all. Should you work more to afford more clothes, more high-tech gadgets, better technical equipment and more trips and holidays? Or should you work less so that you can spend more time with family and loved ones?
If you want to live in a certain standard, you have to work for a certain amount of time. If it is a higher standard, it generally means you have to work more. If you work more, you have less time for the ones you love. You can spend less time playing, cuddling, laughing and enjoying with your partner and, if you have, with your children.
A whole lot of relationships have broken simply because one partner felt that the other gave too much time to work and less time for love. Even bigger are the conflicts that are created in between parents and children. The main breadwinner, traditionally the father, works so much that he hardly knows his children anymore. There is not much of a connection – but the result is that they have the best of everything you can buy!
If you want to spend more time with your children, you may have to do without certain luxuries. We have decided to do this. If we wanted to earn more and have more money, I could travel more, spend several months abroad, as I have done before, and give workshops and seminars. We could earn more in this way than we earn from here but I decided to spend more time with my daughter instead. We still work, and still work much, but whenever I feel like it, I can stop and just play with Apra. We have found a middle way for us.
The conclusion is that everybody has to find out for himself how much luxury he needs and how much time he can give to his loved ones. Whatever you do however, take care of one thing: never let your need for luxuries get so high that you neglect the ones you love, especially your children. They need your love more than they need a lot of toys, a holiday or expensive clothes. They need you.
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