Love or only Attachment – Expectations make the Difference – 29 Apr 08

City:
Essen
Country:
Germany

I will continue from the lecture that I gave a few days ago. You can read the beginning by turning back a few pages.

In Gyan Yoga attachment is not appreciated at all. When you are attached to something you cannot leave expectations and your ego. Attachment always raises expectations. That is why you mustn't be attached to anything. Just love. The line between love and attachment is very thin. Maybe many people cannot even make difference between it. They say "I love this!" But try to see, do you love it or are you attached to it? The line in between is really very thin. If you make one step in one direction you are in love, one step there in the other direction it is attachment.

I will say the difference between those two is the expectations. Ask yourself: do you have expectations? And if the answer is yes it is attachment. This can be even between parents and children. Or very good friends. You say you love this friend but if you love, love, love, then you do not want anything back, you don't have expectations. You cannot say you love him very much and if he forgets to wish you a happy birthday you are very angry! Is it love, if you get angry from that small thing? The path of love is really not easy.

There is another Mantra which says: Do not expect love in return for your love.
Then it is not love, it is business. In love you are giving and giving and not expecting. It cannot be "I love you 10 Kilos and you have to love me 12 Kilos." In attachment you will have expectations. That is the difference. In the Ramayana it is said that attachment is the root of all kind of trouble.

And what is happening in this world in relationships? Both think it is love. But actually it is very often attachment. They raise expectations in this and when these cannot be fulfilled disappointment and pain come. Test yourself if it is love. I do not want you to feel guilty, no, just be aware: is it love or attachment? This will bring you further on the path of love.

 

4 Replies to “Love or only Attachment – Expectations make the Difference – 29 Apr 08”

  1. It is hard to know which is which some times. I don’t think I have ever not been attached to someone I loved… actually there is one person. But we only see each other every few years. The people that I love who I actually see- I’m attached to them. Does that mean I don’t love them, or that my love is impure?