Indian Men: What you need to change if you don’t want to be seen as a possible Rapist! – 28 Jan 14

You are currently viewing Indian Men: What you need to change if you don’t want to be seen as a possible Rapist! – 28 Jan 14

I have spent the past week describing the dangers of sexual harassment in India for western women, explaining that Indian women face the same but in every day’s life, making my point that clothing has nothing to do with rape or sexual harassment and finally looking at the root of the problem: the taboo that sex presents in Indian society. Today I want to write an appeal to all Indian men, because we have to make a change!

Yes, you, too, are responsible for this change!

When I write about rape in India, there are always some reactions that say ‘But only criminals are rapists, the common man doesn’t think in this way!’ I agree, you have to have a criminal mindset to go that far but nearly every Indian woman you ask has experienced sexual harassment in her life at least once. So what does this tell us? There are either a whole lot of criminals or that a big part of the male population in this country has the basic inclination towards such disrespectful behavior. Sexual harassment is based in our society, in the way we treat women in daily life.

And I tell you one thing: as long as there is so much sexual harassment on India’s roads, you, the common Indian man, will be seen as a potential threat by every woman passing by, Indian or non-Indian.

I believe you, reading my blog, would never go as far as raping someone. I even hope that you are not one of those who touch women, who pass inappropriate comments when they walk by or even stare at them in a way that makes them comfortable. But what about your thoughts? How do you talk to your friends about women? How about your actions towards women in your family and surrounding? How do you feel for women in general? How do you treat your wife? What do you teach your son? Do you treat your daughter different than your son?

In the general Indian culture, mindset and mentality, Indian men lack respect towards women. They are presented as a Goddess in temples but come last in home, are suppressed and not valued for who they are: individuals with equal rights, with dignity. Do something against that by making a change in your daily life.

Please teach your sons to respect women, to see them and treat them as equal. Show them this behavior yourself and be an example for your friends. Give your wives, daughters, sisters and female friends exactly this respect. Most of all, teach them to love and respect themselves. Don’t tell them what they should wear or not. If they have the wish to study and work, encourage them to realize their dreams. Let your daughter choose a man on her own, someone she really can love. Give them strength and support.

Enjoy your sex life to the fullest. Don’t suppress sexuality but talk with your wife about your and her wishes and fantasies. Realize as many of them as you can. Take time for the two of you, to pamper her and to surprise her. Make your relationship an example of love and respect for your children and friends, showing them what it means to really respect a woman.

Sexual harassment on India’s roads is not something that you can brush off as an act of criminals. It is bad for you. Yes, for you, not only for the reputation of the country and not only for the tourism industry because female foreign travelers choose other destinations. No, it is bad for you because you are seen as a possible rapist by these women, no matter whether you are or not. Do you want to be seen like this?

You are the possible threat until we manage to change our society inside out.

So act towards this change!

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