Playing Roles that Fulfill Expectations of Others – 6 Jan 09

I met a person who told me his story. He was quite emotional with that and I could feel his pain. With tears in his eyes he said: “Swami ji, I feel that I am always playing a role. Everywhere it is a different role. There are different places and different people and it seems like I have many different faces. That is why I feel nobody really knows me. Nobody knows who I am and what my real personality is. And sometimes at work I would like to show my colleagues that I am not only the tough guy who is hard in negotiations and who makes every deal for the profit of the company but in that time I cannot come out of the role.

If I showed who I am I would not fulfil their expectations anymore. They would be disappointed and see me in another way. In this whole game I sometimes feel like I am losing myself. I ask myself if I am only the actor who plays a certain role or if I have my own personality which I would like to live. But it seems so difficult. Sometimes I want to run away from this and I don’t want to be part of this drama anymore. I would love to live in this way that you talk about, being in my originality and expressing what I have inside, not what people expect from me.”

I said to him: “You are in this system and have spent your whole life living like this. So I agree with you, it is difficult, but again I would like to say that it is your own decision how you want to spend your life. Only like a slave doing what others expect from you and play the role of someone who you are not. Or do you want to live a true and honest life? It is very possible to live that but you need to take your decision and have the courage. It will not work from one day to another, it is a process but you have to start it. Then you will see how nicely you are enjoying your life.”

Yesterday evening we started from Schwabmünchen, came to Frankfurt by train and took a flight from there to Edinburgh. It is nice to come here after a long time. I am with my old friend Julie who is originally from Edinburgh but we met when she was living in Amsterdam with her husband Alex. When I was in Amsterdam last time she had the strong wish to have a baby and asked me to give her healing so that she gets pregnant. I am very happy that she got pregnant and now has a two and a half year old son. They moved from Amsterdam to Edinburgh and invited me now to come. For one week I will be with them here and we will have meditation, healing sessions and a chakra dance party.

4 Replies to “Playing Roles that Fulfill Expectations of Others – 6 Jan 09”

  1. it is hard to change your roles, especially if your roles put you in a position of power. a rich man can almost never release his wealth.I commend this man for at least seeking help, hopefully he was successful.

  2. You know the interesting thing- many people can tell you aren’t being yourself. Just try it. Say “I like this, I don’t like that.” Practice. Being yourself… there is no dilemma in that. It is absolutely the only answer.

  3. I can see how this would be a very difficult situation for this man. And it’s true that his work colleagues may not accept him in his new, and real, role. But I would have to say that, if he is not really being himself in this hard-negotiator role, then maybe that career no longer suits him. Maybe he would be better off getting a different job where he can express who he truly, naturally is. But this, in itself, is hard to do… but I think well worth it.

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