Day before yesterday I mentioned that I have done the Parikrama, the ten kilometer pilgrimage way around town, not only in walking but also with lying down after each three steps. I also said that I think I was crazy in that time.
I have received some feedback on this diary entry and before about previous ones, too, noticing how much I have changed, congratulating me for having come out of religion and also remarking that I accept this change and openly talk about what I have done before. Reading those mails and comments I thought it was time to write about changes in our lives again – and about how we see our lives before that time.
You know that I am very open to talk about my life – be that my past or my presence. I honestly tell about the big change that I have gone through from being a guru and a very religious person to being a non-religious simple businessman, blog author, husband and father. I write about how things now but I am also not afraid of telling of that time – and of the lessons I have learned.
Unfortunately people too often get ashamed of their past when they have made any big change. They think something completely different now than they did then and they now consider others who do the same as crazy or stupid. They actually think that they themselves were stupid, too – but they would not admit it. Instead, they hide their past. They try to remove all evidence of what they did, with their friends they have an unspoken agreement never to talk about that time or those actions and they stand there, a perfect person.
They are afraid that others could think the same as they do themselves – that they were crazy, naïve, a little bit stupid or maybe even fully stupid. They want to present their surrounding the image of a perfect person, without any mistakes, who had a past that was just the same as everyone else’s. They want to be perfect and are afraid that others could judge them. It is of course again a matter of lacking self-esteem. You are you and you are a product of your past, why do you want to hide a part of who you are?
You need to realize that everyone has learned from his past. For some of us the lessons were life-changing and have turned life into a completely different direction. Every single one of us has some event in his past that shows how much he has changed. And I am sure the big majority of people has done something in his past that he would now call stupid.
If we all have this in our past, why can’t we admit it openly and honestly? Why do you have to be ashamed of your past? Just accept it as it is, don’t fight and struggle with it and don’t hide it. You obviously don’t have to go around and tell it to everybody but if the topic comes up, why do you lie and hide? If you just show the facts as they are, you are honest and others will know it. If you hide it and it comes out anyway, you will look very ridiculous for trying to cover up your past.
You should not hide what you have done and how you have changed your life. There is especially one further reason why you should even share what you have experienced: if others can learn something from listening to your story, if they can understand why you changed from one mindset to another and also think different, get off the wrong way or are prevented from doing something stupid, it was well worth it!